Just to be clear, there is no magical potion or solution that will create the perfect man or woman you’ve always been looking for. Chances are, you’re going to find someone who is similar to you, but you’re going to work hard if you plan on enjoying every moment of your relationship.
You will not learn these things at school, and you can only learn on your mistakes, but there is still some general advice you must adhere to if you want to make the best of it. Talking is an essential part of any relationship, and the more you exchange your opinions and experiences with your partner, the less likely it is that you will have to argue.
1. Encourage healthy debate
While a debate can be a nice way to say “argument”, in essence this is extremely healthy and good for you as a couple. You need to listen to each other, and while presenting your arguments, make sure you are neutral as much as you can. Another important thing is to keep things polite, and as much as you are insulted, or no matter how much pain you feel, never stoop down to a level of a child and resort to name calling or threatening. Listen, understand, process, tell what is bothering you and make room for compromises. If you lose your head, this can easily turn out of proportions.
2. Understand each other
This is not just another cliché saying, but a real practical one. Try to really dedicate time to understanding the needs, desires and motivations of your partner. The better you get to understanding that, the better partner you will become. This is important because then, you will develop a much deeper connection, and you will feel a deeper sense of compassion for your partner, even if you don’t identify with everything you find out. The importance of a good and healthy relationship is also the fact that, while you two become a single entity, you should also dedicate some space and time to being alone, doing the things you like.
3. Physical intimacy is essential
Sex is important not only as a great way of releasing stress and deepening your love, but also as a way of staying healthy, both physically and mentally. That being said, you should be aware that sex is not the only important aspect of physical love, and simple hand holding can provide the much needed comfort, or a simple kiss on a cheek can provide consolation. Be careful not to idealize sex, or to require that it looks like that what you see on TV, or especially in porn; sex is unique, meaning that it means different things to different people, and it should only be considered as an extension of your love. Feel free to experiment, as the bedroom is not a place for taboos, and everything should be talked about in there. Share your fantasies with your partner, you never know if you both might be interested in the same things.
4. Don’t be afraid of showing affection
Not only should you feel free to tell someone that you love them, as those moments are really precious, but also try and actively dedicate some time that you can spend together. As time goes by, in any relationship, people are developing other interests, children, businesses or hobbies, and all of this can easily make your forget about the important thing, and that is: you need to find the time to spend together, and have those small and precious moments, as they will not always come naturally. You can simply watch a movie, or select a day, every week, when you’ll go out and have a nice dinner together, where no one will interfere or distract you from your partner. Be creative and prepare a picnic, or go to a spa together where you can get a nice massage. This playful interaction can go a long way, and it will not only make you closer, but it will also enable you to get to know each other a bit better.