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Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a huge milestone in your dating relationship together. For some women, the prospect can be both exciting and promising. After all, such an event indicates that your boyfriend feels positive about the future of your relationship together. Often meeting a beau’s parents is a sign that your relationship has advanced to a more serious stage, making this truly a special occasion.
Yet for many women, meeting your boyfriend’s parents can also be very intimidating. You may wonder what is in store for the future of your relationship together if his parents don’t like you. You may be stressed about the anticipation of being judged or “sized up” by people who your boyfriend likely holds in very high regard. Just the thought of these possibilities can really leave you feeling stressed and frazzled.
There are so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that may be running through your mind before you meet your boyfriend’s parents for the first time, and often this inner turmoil makes it difficult to pinpoint how you truly feel about the pending situation. However, there are some things that you can do to prepare yourself for the big event, and this can help you to feel more relaxed and at ease when the moment to meet his parents does arrive. After all, simply appearing calm and at ease can go a long way towards making a great first impression! Here are some things to keep in mind as you prepare for the big day:
Dressing To Impress His Parents
First impressions are often lasting impressions, and you absolutely want to dress to impress his parents on your big day of introduction. Now, don’t break out your old prom dress and get completely dolled up. Instead, dress in your best attire that is suitable for the occasion. The big event may even be a special day that calls for a new outfit, so by all means go out and do some shopping to find the perfect outfit.
As you select the right outfit, keep in mind that you want to look attractive, presentable, and fashionable. However, you definitely want to avoid wearing anything too revealing that may leave a negative impression in his parents’ minds. Your outfit should reflect who you are as a person rather than whom you think they may want you to be. While you want to look your best, you also want to be comfortable in your attire. Avoid wearing clothes that you need to constantly adjust or fidget with, and that are too tight or constricting. Shoes should also be completely comfortable, too. You will have enough to worry about on your big day without adding wardrobe issues to the list.
Make-up, hair, and nails should be done to give a polished look to your ensemble. Consider visiting the hair salon and getting a mani-pedi before the big day so you truly look your best.
Bring A Gift
When meeting anyone new in their home you can always score a few points by remembering to bring a small gift such as a box of chocolates, a favored CD/DVD, a bottle of wine, or even a plant. This makes an immediate and lasting warm impression about you with his parents.
Study Up
You likely already know quite a few things about your boyfriend’s parents just from spending time with him and listening to him talk about them. However, talk to your boyfriend a little bit more about them so you really know what to expect. Think about things like what line of work they are in, where they were raised, what college they went to, what their interests are, and so forth. By all means, you should show interest in them and ask questions about their jobs, hobbies, and other interests.
It may help to read up on some of their most avid interests and hobbies. You certainly don’t want to pretend to be an expert on something you know nothing about, but having some background information on something they love to talk about can make it easier to carry on a conversation with them.
In addition to learning more about their background information, ask your boyfriend about their mannerisms, ideology on dating and pre-marital relationships, and other such issues so you can fully prepare for a conversation with them. Even if you determine that your boyfriend’s parents are laid back and casual, you should still plan to be well mannered and respectful toward them.
Plan To Answer His Parents Questions
His parents are sure to have a lot of questions for you. You can likely expect some basic questions about where you work or what you are studying in school, and what your plans are for the future. Take time to prepare these answers in your head beforehand. Some parents may also ask more personal questions; such as if you have plans for raising a family in the profession you have chosen. Often, such very personal questions can be answered with a polite but generic response, or you may choose to let your boyfriend respond to such questions.
Will Siblings Be Present?
Oftentimes, meeting a boyfriend’s parents entails meeting siblings, too. Siblings should also be treated politely and with respect, and you should make an effort to include them in conversations when appropriate. It can be helpful to you to know beforehand if they will be there for the first meeting, and you should take measures to prepare for meeting them just as you prepare to meet his parents. You may want to think of a few questions beforehand to ask his siblings, too, such as what they are studying in school, how that vacation was that they just came back from, and so forth.
Often, that first meeting with your boyfriend’s parents and other family members can be awkward and uneasy, but if you take time to really prepare for the occasion and put your best foot forward, you will find that you have laid a solid foundation for developing a great relationship with them.
If your relationship with your boyfriend continues on for the long-term, and especially if it develops into something more significant such as a marriage, you will be happy that you took the time to really make a great first impression with them and that you took time to prepare for this big day.
Speak Up – What is your experience meeting parents?
If you have suggestions on how to make this important event go smoothly let us hear from you! Also, if you used similar techniques and they worked out well, or not so well, share your story and help others to meet the parents.
I don’t think there are much problems meeting boyfriend’s parents.
Usually the real problem starts when guys need to meet their girlfriend’s parents and to convince them that they are the right one for their precious daughter.
Twitter: bodynsoil
I loved your article as it was very informative and gave excellent pointers. I remember all to well my nervousness when meeting my boyfriends (currently my husband) parents for the first time. As we neared my BF’s home he became very nervous and slowly started detailing past issued he has with his parents and sibling. With each story he told I became less nervous about meeting them and more afraid, he was right to warn me in advance, his family has been a challenge over the years. In-laws can be very difficult to say the least, we keep our respectful distance and yet remain friendly; I certain understand the reason why my husband moved just far enough away to escape the pandemonium.
Bodynsoil recently posted..Whole Foods Documentary tour for Earth Month
Thanks for the feedback Bodynsoll
Sometimes distance is a great solution.
!x As a bloke way up the Mother in law ?
2x There is a good chance that daughter is going to be similar down the line if it holds together that long.
3x Dont study too intently the Mother in law as you dont want her to think your eyeing her up,n ot the first time you meetup anyway.
4 x Hows Pop doing ? If he is not around then expect modern mother to be sniffing round your mates and your financial prospects almost daily ,it will be happening faster that a twitter feed.
5x If Pop is around what sort of relationship does he have with wifee ? eg Who wears the Pants ?
6x Beware of waffling too much at the table and watch out for any open ended questioning from the prospective new family members especially about your folks,as they say in the forces beware of the softley softley approach and idle talk can cost lives etc!(That sort of thing }
7 x Just be yourself and take a moment to way everything up and dont make any long term decisions after having any alcoholic beverages no matter how Euphoric your feeling.
8 x Enjoy the trial period !
Might be worth checking out
http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=170
I never had any problems meeting my girlfriend’s parents.
sailor recently posted..Bridge of a Ship – Norwegian Cruise Line
Twitter: mariapavel
Could’ve used these advices when i first met them. I was all stiff, answering yes or no, unable to make a conversation. It was worst than on my first job interview.
But they were really nice people and i opened up the following times when we visited. I have to admit, i’d wish i had their patience.
Maria Pavel recently posted..How to Verify your CNA Certification-License
Nice to hear it all worked out Maria!
never had any problems meeting my girlfriend’s parents
Twitter: selfishyayun
ask your girlfriend first, such as whether the parents and the brother or sister of your girlfriend, what they do, what they like, what they hate, we just need to understand the characters and then we can easily get an idea about what and how that should done in such a big event.
selfishyayun recently posted..Pagerank Alexa Pages Indexed Backlink Checker
I didn’t encounter any problems when I met my husband’s parents because they are so warm and accommodating. I’m glad that my relationship with his parents are still very much okay until now. When meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time, just be your self and be nice to them and every thing will turn out well.
anne recently posted..Custom Shirt Printing
It’s so nice when everything works out and all of the people involved treat each other with respect and love!
The most important thing to remember is to be yourself. If he loves you the way you are most likely his parents will too. Be confident and friendly. Be on your best behavior and stay away from the alcohol. This will ensure that you remain sharp.
Wendy recently posted..How to Get a Boy to Like youPush the Right Buttons
This could be one of the most challenging things that boys do to show that their intention to their girls are real and pure. When a guy knows how to present himself and he knows how to deal with the girl’s parents, i guess there’s not much problem about it.
Jamby recently posted..Reasons Why Online Dating is Fun!
This could be one of the most challenging things that boys do to show that their intention to their girls are real and pure. When a guy knows how to present himself and he knows how to deal with the girl’s parents, i guess there’s not much problem about it. For me, when a guy wants to meet my parents, i feel that his love is true. Because he wouldn’t go that far if it wasn’t right? I will help him get through with it… But it would mean so much to me if he would be brave enough to stand on his own. It may be hard at first, but as long as my parents see that he is deserving i know everything will be okay.
Jamby recently posted..Reasons Why Online Dating is Fun!
Simple! Be yourself. If they cant love you by who you are they don’t belong in your life!
I tried acting like them, and it went well, but deep down inside, I just was not happy inside.
Twitter: coreyrab
Just smile and laugh. Smile and laugh . Oh and don’t eat too much.
coreyrab recently posted..LinkedIn Tips for Small Business
I completely agree with bodynsoil, its really necessary to have distance with in-laws. well, after reading this article i have also remembered my 1st meeting with my husband’s parents. well that was completely so nice but some kind of distance is necessary with them.
tiya recently posted..How to Get a Boyfriend – 6 Effective Steps to get your boyfriend fast!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/PatreceSmith
Exactly. You need to study up so that you’ll know what present to buy and what topics to avoid during the meeting.
Patrece recently posted..The Art of A Good Photo for an Average Geeks updated Mon Sep 5 2011 4:45 am CDT
None of this could have helped me with my boyfriends mom. She didn’t like me right from the beginning. She is Italian and I am not, and for some reason that makes me an embarrassment to her. She made me so uncomfortable on our first meeting (as if I wasn’t uncomfortable enough) that it was crazy!
She has never liked me, never treated me well, and never shown me the same respect I have shown her. Knowing I was a vegetarian she would cook huge meat filled meals. Oh…I could go on and on about this but let me tell you, sometimes you have to know when to stop trying to impress the in-laws and just get on with life.
Bellaisa recently posted..Looking For Love in Social Dating Sites?
Interesting to think about what the woman goes through meeting the man’s parents. I am a man and I am really awesome (*ironic shoulder brush*), so I have not had many issues in meeting potential in-laws.
Although there is obviously a slightly different dynamic between the position of man/woman in “meeting the parents”, I think it is wise for anyone in such a position to be calm and collected, to smile and to be friendly and cordial. When meeting someone at first I am generally moderate about most things so as not to offend, but also to allow me to explain things about me in a diplomatic manner.
Example: my current US-American girlfriend shares the radically liberal Democratic beliefs of her parents. Not knowing how they would react to my generally fiscal-conservative-social-liberal positions, I stated at the behest of the father that “I tend to value fiscal responsibility and I see value in the principles of both US political parties”. Much better than whipping out my arguments for austerity as per the philosophy of the Austrian School of Oeconomics.
Barring any outside prejudices (reading Bellaisa’s account made me sad), being reasonable and diplomatic has never done me wrong.
Nice post Sarah, thanks for sharing! I might consider writing something similar to this on my own blog. =)
EVO recently posted..EVO’s Envelopes Date – Food, First Date and the Art of Getting Dirty
Do not just dress to impress his parents, dress like a lady, like you intend to always dress even after you are married. Plan to remain impressive in your dressing. you never know when they will catch you off-guard. and be prepared for ANYTHING!