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4 Really Bad Ways to Find Love

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Bellaisa runs a website which answers the famous question... How Do You Get a Guy...?. "Love and happiness is what binds us all together. We all want love, we all want happiness - I would love to see a time when we ALL have them."

Bellaisa has written 4 articles for ComLuv.com
I normally write at http://howdoyougetaguy.com/

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February 15, 2012 By 43 Comments
Find Love Love Potion

Thinking About Making a Love Potion to Help You Find Love?

Ready To Find Love?

Looking for love? If you are then you will be using different strategies to find love like online dating, scoping out the work crowd, checking out friends of friends on facebook, and hanging out at coffee shops to spot that one guy or girl that seems to be exactly what you are looking for. These are all valid ways to find love – but there are other things that you may be trying that could be hurting your chances of finding love.

You may think some of the following ‘find love tactics’ are silly, and you may be right, but that doesn’t mean that they are not popular! There are tons of websites and forums devoted to 3 of them and the last one is so common that I hear about it many times a day. In fact, I’ve tried a few of them myself in my past.

Wishing to Find Love

The law of attraction has become really popular lately. I am a believer in the law of attraction myself, but if you are just sitting around making vision boards and wishing for the love of your life to appear in your lap, then you are going to be sitting around and wishing for a long time!

The law of attraction involves you taking action towards finding your love, not just sitting around and waiting for it. This is why you commonly hear that the universe will supply you with clues or directions to take in order to reach your desires. It shows you the steps you need to take in order to get to where you want. So instead of sitting on your couch staring at your vision board, get out and look for the breadcrumbs from the universe that will lead you to find love.

Advertising For Love on Craigslist or Any Other Classifieds

Yes it’s free, and that may be appealing to a lot of people (all kinds of people), but seriously – advertising on Craigslist is worse than going to a really bad bar. At least at the bar you can see the people you are taking a chance on. On craigslist you have to correspond with someone based off their words. This means that when you see them (or they see you) one of you may be extremely disappointed and let down, and that could lower the other one’s self-esteem. So not only did you waste a whole bunch of time, but now you feel like crap!

Instead spend the money to try online dating. You can see pictures of people before you have to talk to them. You can find out more than just there little blurb that they decide to share. You can chat online, or on video chat, in a safe environment to really get to know the person before meeting them. Also, online dating requires you to fill in a lot of vital information about yourself that will help others decide whether you are really right for them or not.

And most importantly, you know that everyone on an online dating site is serious about finding love, and that they willing to pay for a service to help them instead of being cheap and advertising themselves alongside furniture. It’s a lot less time wasted and it’s worth the money you pay.

Buying or Making a Love Potion

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just sit around and make potions to get the things we want? Many people are buying into the belief that it works. I saw one love potion that required you to brew the tea on a Friday evening during a full moon and then recite a rhyme that went something like:

By the light of the moon, I brew this tea, to make (the person) fall in love with me!

There’s more to it than that in the chant, but then they tell you that on the following Friday to give the potion to the one you want to love you and they will soon fall in love with you!

Really? I have not seen one case of this working – besides on the movie ‘The Craft. The potion is not what is going to make someone fall in love you with. It’s rather a waste of time don’t you think? It may be fun to do but there are better things you can do with your time to find love than chanting and making tea.

Someone will fall in love with you because of your kindness, compassion, sense of humor or similarity to them. So get out there and show the world your good traits and see what kind of magic you can do with that effort!

Staying Inside Your Comfort Zone

This is probably the worst way to find love. How can you find love when you are stuck doing the same old thing and seeing the same old people? You are never going to meet someone new unless you push your boundaries and experience new things and people.

The more chances you take at finding love the more likely you are to find love soon. Go to the speed dating event in your city. Get online and surf for free on online dating sites. Make your presence known when that hot guy or girl enters the room. Go ahead and break out of your shell and let finding love be a real option for you!

Please feel free to share your tips on how to find love (what works or what doesn’t) in the comments below!

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Comments

  1. LouisC
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 15, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    So true, some are just common sense but it’s very easy to forget everything when you are looking to find someone and people can also pick up on these signs of desparation!
    LouisC recently posted..Do you have a Shellfish Intolerance or Shellfish Allergy?My Profile

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    • Bellaisa
      Twitter:
      says:
      February 15, 2012 at 7:10 pm

      That’s so true Louis. It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting someone so bad that you just go ahead and get on Craigslist or take other risks that have the potential for disaster.

      Can you imagine someone giving you a drink and finding out it was a ‘love potion’ they concocted? Yes, I would think they were desperate and be running the other direction.
      Bellaisa recently posted..Date Ideas: Ours Was a Fondue DateMy Profile

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  2. Bryan Ring
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 16, 2012 at 4:49 am

    I love your section about “Craigslist”, I have a hard-time just placing an ad there for my landscape company. Looking for love on CL could actually be dangerous, thank goodness I am happily married!

    You make some great points but “push your boundaries” stands out the most to me. Expecting different results doing the same thing could possibly drive you crazy.

    I love ComLuv as it is a great change of pace allowing different articles. Great write here and perspective of Love! Wish I could give some real feed back to the online dating thing.

    Thank you Bellaisa!
    Bryan Ring recently posted..Traffic To Your Website Requires Savvy Business BloggingMy Profile

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    • Bellaisa
      Twitter:
      says:
      February 16, 2012 at 6:03 pm

      Hey Bryan,

      I’ve learned the hard way that the only way to achieve anything worthwhile, even finding someone to love, is by getting out of your comfort zone.

      Lol about your ad on Craigslist. People do crazy things when they become desperate to find love – but a classified site? It’s just too risky of a place to me.

      Thanks for the comment
      Bellaisa recently posted..Date Ideas: Ours Was a Fondue DateMy Profile

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  3. Sara says:
    February 16, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Great article Bellaisa! I liked that you combined intense tone with humorous parts. Totally agree with the ”meet new people, experience new things”. In my opinion, the perfect time to find love is when you don’t desperately need it. Just to be confident and in good mood, is enough to meet new friends, and whatever comes later. There is a good chance to find love, and if you don’t this time you will have a good friend after all to talk to!
    Sara recently posted..Let the Best Climbing Plants Unveil Impressive Standards of Your GardenMy Profile

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  4. Hannah Hamilton
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 16, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    Interesting. First and foremost, would YOU date YOU? Meaning, do you believe in your own capacity to love, and are you confident in yourself? If you are not even contented with who you are, who else would be, right? So make sure, you’re not looking for love just to fill in the loneliness of being single, or like you said, just because you’re desperate. This will practically drive people away. So in the end, you have to feel good about yourself, and that will definitely radiate from the inside, out making you one irresistible catch. Again, you have to DO something to find love, the Law of attraction bit was funny.
    Hannah Hamilton recently posted..The Best Bag for Every Type of TravelerMy Profile

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    • Bellaisa
      Twitter:
      says:
      February 16, 2012 at 6:26 pm

      Very well said Hannah. So many people think that finding love will make them happy, but if you are not already happy then that’s not the case at all. Nobody wants to, or should have to, put in the enormous amount of effort to make you a happier person – and it never works out anywase. You will be with YOU forever – so make sure your relationship with yourself is solid and happy first before getting into a relationship with someone else.

      Thanks for the comment – and yes, you can’t just stare at your vision board or pray really super hard, you do have to DO something :)
      Bellaisa recently posted..Date Ideas: Ours Was a Fondue DateMy Profile

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  5. Barnett
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 17, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Couldn’t agree with this post anymore. We can wish to get a car, when we do not commit effort to reap the results from it. It a shame how most of us are so conditioned to be lazy and getting things the easy.

    Remember we reap what we sow, so put forth the necessary effort to getting out their and meeting new people. It may take a toll on your confidence but as you develop more self love, it is more likely for people to be naturally draw to you.
    Barnett recently posted..3 Most Rediculous Reasons Why Men LieMy Profile

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    • Bellaisa
      Twitter:
      says:
      February 17, 2012 at 5:21 pm

      Hey Barnett, thanks for stopping by here and commenting.

      I think the more you get rejected and the more you keep trying, the higher your self confidence actually goes – because you learn what works and what doesn’t and you start to realize that you really are the master of your own fate. I think that’s a good confidence booster! And people see that in you, and like you said, are drawn to you.
      Bellaisa recently posted..A Man’s Guide to Surviving a Blind DateMy Profile

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  6. Amin
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 17, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I don’t speak very well English but I really enjoyed this post.

    But have you find the love potion ? Google can’t help me to find the righ address !

    LOL

    Thank you for this post.

    Amin
    Amin recently posted..La puissance de l’inconscientMy Profile

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  7. annelg
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 19, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    I also talk about finding love on one of my sites. It can be complicated, and making a love potion is funnily enough, not the way to go :-) I didn’t even know that people take this sort of nonsense seriously until I got so much spam mail on my site related to it, I had to re-do my commenting restrictions.

    Getting out of your comfort zone to find what you need is a good idea.
    annelg recently posted..Turn a Room Into a Stress Free SanctuaryMy Profile

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  8. Bellaisa
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Lol. I think that younger people tend to take it more seriously – and then desperate people fall not far behind. I know I’ve been both at one time or another…and I’ve made the mistake of falling for some ‘too easy’ trick that is guaranteed to work!
    Bellaisa recently posted..A Man’s Guide to Surviving a Blind DateMy Profile

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  9. adhe goblog
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 21, 2012 at 8:33 am

    I really need this lesson. spirit, wish me luck!!!
    adhe goblog recently posted..munafikMy Profile

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  10. Cheolsu says:
    February 21, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Posting for love on Craigslist/GumTree or any other online forum is really a bad idea. Getting out of one’s comfort zone is never easy. To find someone one must always get outside their comfort zone. I have tried speed dating a couple of times and it is a nice way to meeting new people. Offlate, I don’t have a problem talking to strangers on the bus/train/plane.
    Cheolsu recently posted..PNR StatusMy Profile

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  11. David
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Hi Bellaisa, believe it or not, I actually found my love on MySpace back when it was still popular before Facebook took over. We have been married for over 3 years now and still going strong.

    Every day is new and interesting. We face life’s challenges together. Love is worth finding and worth the search!
    David recently posted..Credit Card Company Complaint OptionsMy Profile

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    • Bellaisa
      Twitter:
      says:
      February 21, 2012 at 9:13 pm

      I used to have a friend who spent a lot of time on there. Pretty much everyone in her life (besides me) was from there. So I can believe it. I find it cool that you found love there.
      Bellaisa recently posted..4 Date Ideas to Keep You WarmMy Profile

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    • Martin Cooney says:
      May 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

      Hey David,

      Love can be lurking around any corner, even on MySpace. Gee, I found my wife on Facebook so wonderful your friend found it wherever that might be.

      I found the post funny as a lot did. Yeah, I would be cool if you could get out the magic wand and a puff of smoke later, your new special partner appears. But there’s no easy way. There isn’t even a right way.

      You just have to want it, know you want it and get out into the real world and find it, armed with your own knowledge of what it looks like (for you).
      Martin Cooney recently posted..The Best Ways To Screw Up A RelationshipMy Profile

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  12. Manuel
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 22, 2012 at 11:34 am

    it is difficult to find love these days, and worse with this list :)
    Manuel recently posted..Requirements to work in SpainMy Profile

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  13. elena anne
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 22, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Hello Bellaisa,
    I like your phrase “push the boundaries”. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”
    Confucius said.
    The other point is that, sometimes, when we try to find love, we are kind of “blind”.Can’t see clear and compromise with something out of our real standards. He is not supposed to change for us. We must love him the way he is.
    elena anne recently posted..Nutrition in Winter: Maintain Your Immune SystemMy Profile

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  14. james says:
    February 24, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    had to laugh when i saw this topic then comments with “craigslist”

    haha

    well i think the love potion idea is silly, but its all about right place right time i think
    if its meant to happen, then its meant to be huh :)

    thanks heaps

    james

    Reply
  15. Ben Thomas
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 25, 2012 at 10:37 am

    I like they last method listed here. I’ll apply it and build my network. Its one of the best love making tips I’ve found so far on the internet. I do feel getting out of the comfort zone is an important thing for bloggers.
    Ben Thomas recently posted..Review of the Aakash Tablet. The worlds cheapest tablet priced…My Profile

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  16. Saket Jajodia
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 25, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I think no one can suggest correctly on this because to suggest this kind of things you need to understand “girls” which is again one of the most impossible thing in the world..!! BTW Thanks for these tips..!! ;) :P
    Saket Jajodia recently posted..How Minors (Under The Age Of 18) Can Earn And Get Cheque From AdSenseMy Profile

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  17. gas electricity
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 26, 2012 at 11:02 am

    I need… I need.. I need girl friend… thanks for this great post… I will learned this turtorial
    gas electricity recently posted..Tracing the Electricity Network in the United StatesMy Profile

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  18. Matt Kinsella
    Twitter:
    says:
    February 26, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Believing in love, knowing what it is and how to recognize true love are all quite important. The other thing you need in some circumstances is time.
    Matt Kinsella recently posted..How To Be Lucky In LoveMy Profile

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  19. maslinda
    Twitter:
    says:
    March 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    I think that it’s when you stop obsessing about it and relax, is when the magic happens (no potion required)
    maslinda recently posted..It’s all about the accessories in Boom and Mellow!My Profile

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  20. Raaj Trambadia
    Twitter:
    says:
    April 30, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Love is something we just find naturally with the help of a small thing – heart! That’s all the post is about right? :)
    Raaj Trambadia recently posted..Dreaming – Where Time is Spent, Not WastedMy Profile

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  21. Mario says:
    May 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    Guys, go take an evening walk at the beach! Who knows, you might just find your soul mate :) If not, I’m sure you won’t regret that walk on the beach! It’s fun there, isn’t it?
    Mario recently posted..The Coolest Blog Commenting Plugin For WordPress!My Profile

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