Latest posts by Mike Sullivan (see all)
- Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back - January 13, 2013
- Reconnecting With Your Ex Girlfriend - December 14, 2012
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The Separation
Have you been separated from the woman that you love and wish that you could get your ex girlfriend back? Couples break apart everyday for an array of reasons and find themselves in a similar state of longing.
Re-attracting a woman who you’ve already established a relationship with, is a more complex challenge then initially attracting her. The process requires patience, perseverance and poise. Unfortunately, moon-walking to Thriller on the dance floor and a few choice words, won’t cut it.
Perhaps you’d been together for a while and you know her better than most people in her life; almost completely. This knowledge may play in your favor but so does mystery and the thrill of uncharted territories. Hence, I suggest that you discard the notion that you know your ex girlfriend in entirety.
- First of all because you can’t ever know someone completely, people grow all the time.
- Second, if you close off the possibility of learning something new about her, failing to continue to be intrigued and enthralled with her, you’re underestimating who you want as a partner.
Boredom not only stems from stale routine but also from a stagnant belief that the last drop of excitement has been squeezed out of circumstance. A lasting relationship won’t stand for close-mindedness.
“The only thing I know is that I know nothing.” ~Socrates
Therefore do not presume that you know all there is to know about your ex girlfriend and how to get her back. With this detrimental attitude, you may as well find someone who is a stranger to you. Fortunately, re-attracting a lover has been done before and by staying within tested, strategic guidelines, you will succeed like many a men before you.
There is a mass of information out there surrounding relationship advisement and much of it is conflicting and confusing. Some would suggest that you “˜follow your heart‘ and “˜be yourself‘, that you don’t need input from people who are marketing their ideas. Others would say that you have to play your actions and reactions by the book. Which ignites an aversion to the concept of using trickery to harness love.
I will simply say this: May all that you do, come from a place of sincerity, don’t compromise who you are. Rather than trickery, do use strategy that is based in human psychology.
The Re-attraction
The very first step in reuniting with your ex girlfriend is to disappear from her life. Sounds like a textbook paradox, doesn’t it? It is known as the No Contact Rule and requires that you disengage with your ex entirely. This period of space apart is meant to give you time to ride out the panic of losing her and get some peace of mind. When you are in a good place, reproducing confidence, you can formulate a strategic method for success.
The standard length for implementing no contact is thirty days, but instead of focusing on the logistics like a criminal in exile, focus on improving yourself. So that when the time comes for re-initiating contact, you will have a sturdy foundation to build your future relationship upon.
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Great post…When my ey dumped me, I thought it´s end of the world…All I could thing about was how can I get him back…But after couple of years I realized that he wasn´t the ONE for me..so I´m glad that it ended up this way but I´m sure some people really want to get back together with their ex girlfriends or ex boyfriend…
Twitter: originalravi
I dont think you should just get him anyhow. First know his state of mind
The best way is to be yourself. If she loves you or you love her, nothing can stop from you two being together.
Rohan Shankar recently posted..Bestselling and Top Rated Gadgets of 2012
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Oh, before even comtemplating getting back, there’s a real need for a time-out period which, thankfully, you took, Tina.
While they say time heals all wounds, it also allows oneself to be able to think with a clearer head and make more rational decisions.
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good post…these kind of post are very interesting to read…
Very nice post…specially with Valentine’s Day approaching fast!
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Twitter: originalravi
Actually I think that if both of them have moved on they don’t need to get back together unless both of them feels so. If some guy thinks that he wants her back and girl iis happy with someone else then noone should disturb her with past.
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Agree 100%, Ravi.
There is no reason whatever that someone should be thinking of breaking apart a relationship that’s ‘in action’. That’s just plain wrong on so many levels.
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I hope it worked for the author of this post
Twitter: jksingh99
Hi Mike,
One needs to be careful when undergoing the no-contact phase. Most of the relationships break because of poor communication and lack of understanding of each other’s functions and responsibilities. The No-contact phase might not even be needed if the relationship is undergoing a healthy phase of talk. All of this, basically boils down to ‘bridging the gap’ between one another.
What are your thoughts on that?
Regards,
Jay
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Hi Mike,
I agree with the old saying “if you love someone let them go, if they come back their yours, if not, it was never ment to be.” and then I saw this in addition, “if it never goes out, still sits in your bedroom uses your phone and eats your stuff then either you married it or you gave birth to it.” LOL Thanks for an interesting post.
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it really a great article thanks for sharing..!!!
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ya its really very good thing.when heart break it seems to lose every beauty of the life.so your kindly suggestions really make the people some more faith in themselves can easily be able to hold the self motivation
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Hello Dear
really i like your post i think mostly relationships break because of poor communication this is face of relationship and your points are great really thanks for the sharing me
Twitter: It_Freelancing
Many couples break-up due to very silly reasons and later think to get her back. I’ve never faced such scenario but my advice would be to talk with your partner with honesty about the issue. I’m sure if you both are serious about your relationship then things would become nicer like before. In all relationships there are bad patches but only conversations can help you.
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Sometimes it feels relaxed while reading some articles rather than blogging. And its one of them. Nice Article dear .
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Generally speaking, thinking of, or trying to get him/her back: not the brightest of ideas. It’s over when its over! Moving on can be painful (understatement!), but trust me, you’ll probably look back one day and see it as one of the best decisions you ever made.
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Twitter: fred_henning
Hey Mike,
Now this is a very interesting post! My basic comments are that you never really know what’s on the other person’s mind. They may really like you or they could only be pretending to care & have an agenda, some need they can sucker you into giving them. The other person might even really want a relationship for a while then blow you off when they discover the responsibility required to maintain it. Sadly, that happens a lot and with terrible heartbreak when the truth be known.
So, my thought about the topic is, like Frank Sinatra sang, “Take it nice and easy all the time.†Before joining forces, really get to know that somebody. It could be that your favorite person just might have a legitimate gripe against you. It’s important to know and like yourself as a person, too. Enjoy alone time. Don’t become needy for the other.
Fred
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Hello
My advise to those Lovers who want their Ex back. Better let them go. We should not force a relation when it is not working. It was not working so you broke up, so why do you want to get her/him back? Better look for someone who can understand your feelings, emotions and needs.
Do not go with the figure or run after money. Choose from your heart and I am sure your feelings wont be hurt
Sanjib
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Before you take any permanent actions (like removing contact information from your phone, wiping out all those snuggly photos, purging their texts or deleting every email you’ve exchanged), give yourself a few days, even weeks, to consider if this digital history contains pieces of your life you’d like to be able to revisit one day. While emails and photos of you together may seem like just reminders of your relationship, they’re also documentation of that time of your life with or without that person.
Instead of staring at them every time you check your inbox, though, do a search for all messages to and from your ex and sweep them into a folder you can hide, perhaps a sub-folder of a sub-folder. As for photos, if hiding them in a folder you don’t frequent isn’t enough to keep you from wallowing on memory lane, move them to an external hard drive or to a cloud service like Snapfish or one of the storage accounts offered by of the many of the cloud providers (Microsoft’s Windows Live SkyDrive or Google Drive, to name two). Once you have them safely archived elsewhere, delete them from your primary system so that they aren’t gone forever whilst not constantly dredging up the past.
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You won’t believe i was dumped 16 days ago.I am worried if i should follow the above steps to get her back. I don’t know what will be her reaction. Should i try? If Mike could help me…please.
Twitter: teesort
Thanks for sharing.. Hope this post will get back many people gf or bf.
Really helpful advice. And you know sometimes I wish some of my exes had followed it)
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Mike,
Really good post man, I am certainly going to try and get my ex back now, I just kinda let her slip away to be fair but after reading your post I have actually realized how much I actually miss her.
I think you are going to be responsible for making me the happiest man alive again, thank very much man.
You made a very good point regarding the the new contact rule .It has worked for me. One realizes the importance of someone only after he or she disappears from you life completely.
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If she leaves the first time and you let her leave without fighting what makes you think that she’ll stay when you change the little things she doesn’t like – for a while – i might add because you’ll most definitely be all comfortable again and return to your regular irritating ways
If she loves you strong enough she will have to put up with you.
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Thanks man,this is very helpful,I am going to try, can’t let her go from my life.
Twitter: LovAndLyfstle4u
It can always be very painful when one’s beloved leaves one. Not one but two girl friends left me and I’d known how sooner this would never have happened I could have prevented her from leaving me. After this I didn’t have the courage to start another affair, but now I can, thanks to you.
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Mike,
I have always viewed resuming a romance with an ex to be analogous to soiling one’s pants, taking a shower, then putting the same pants back on again.
That being said, if I were to get back with an ex-girlfriend, this is a great start to making it happen. =)
Thanks for the post, and cheers to ye!
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Very well written it is really awesome.
Thanks for the helpful sharing.:)
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Hi Mike,
I guess to some people who are still attached or have deep feelings for there ex this might be useful, but I think here is a reason hat they are their EX, maybe??
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I agree with your advice. I have always told Talent in my makeup chair to distance themselves when they were breaking up. I do the same (or did when I was dating, now I am married) & the best way to get someone back is to “move on”. Not by dating others, just by having other things to busy you so you are not calling or texting your ex.
Your ex will wonder why you have fallen of the may so quickly & that is much better than parking outside their house like a stalker! No one wants that person!
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Twitter: proglamchick
correcting my previous comment – I meant to type “Your ex will wonder why you have fallen off the map so quickly!
Sorry for the typo’s, But I do try to always proofread!
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I was reading an article in the Huffington Post today about a dating website for people who want to have affairs. Their day, with the highest signups, is always February 15th. Go figure.
I’d rather stay single again.
Regards,
Steve MacLellan
Twitter: @rommysunnyblog
totally agree i am thinking to stick with the line “the only thing i know is nothing” this will definately work for my ex.but mutual understanding is also required for successful relationship.
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Great tips i liked this one reunitting with girlfriend means disapearing from her life…actually in getting ex girlfriend ego always clashes if someone somehow compromises his or her ego than the relationship will rebuild.
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Hi ,
I think you have given some great points and explained it very nicely. Two days back one of my friend was asking about same thing , how to get his ex girlfriend back. I have exactly explained what you have mentioned here.
Thanks alot for sharing the information.
Cheers!
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I think to start talking and gossiping with other girls will be get your EX back
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I have another question:
how to explain to ex-boyfriend that we are not going to be together again?
Probably, he has read your article
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Hey Mike,
Nice post and Thanks for sharing these useful tips with us. These tips really seems helpful and hoping this horrible thing is never happens with me but if whenever I faced these conditions I will surely follow these tips.
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