Latest posts by Ivan Dimitrijevic (see all)
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As Jefferson Airplane so eloquently put it, we all need somebody to love. It’s not just about that loving feeling, butterflies and all that, but about feeling safe and taken care of as well. When looking at potential partners for a committed long-term relationship, it’s important to gauge your compatibility, and that requires you to put some serious thought into what you need. Finding a compatible mate will take some time and planning, but as long as you are motivated enough to put in the work you can come up with plenty of potential candidates in a relatively short time. Here are some important dating tips for people who want something more than just good sex out of a relationship.
1. Be honest with yourself and define what you are looking for
Not everyone has the same tired old Hollywood definition of romance. Some girls are very feminine and creative, and want a strong man that makes them feel safe and appreciated, while other girls have a very dominant personality and can take care of themselves, but need a feeling of stability in their lives and someone who can make them laugh. In the same vein, some guys love girls who are cute and cuddly, while others prefer a strong independent woman with a high social status. It can be a complex game of finding the right balance of dominance and empathy. Try to be completely honest when defining the type of partner that would make you truly happy.
2. Know where to look for the right person
Night clubs and singles bars are not the only places to look for suitable partners. In fact, they can be the worst place to look in certain cases. You should try going out more in the daytime, and approaching people in the park, at the supermarket or while waiting in line to get some coffee – all it takes is a few interesting comments, a smile and plenty of courage. There are also plenty of dating options to be found online, and this may be the best strategy for a lot of us, as dating websites allow you to search for people with defined interests and personality types. This helps cut through the little formalities and white lies. Even if you have somewhat specific needs that need to be met you can find the right online platform.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for some help
Sometimes it’s worth looking a little bit closer to home. It’s called the proximity principle and it essentially comes down to people connecting much better with someone from the same background who moves in similar social circles. Social media or online dating website allow you to bypass the need for geographical proximity to an extent, but your friends can be much better at match-making than a piece of software.
4. Ask the right questions from the start
Whether you’ve found out a few things about someone from friends, read their profile or heard it straight from the person in a face-to-face chat leading up to a date, it’s not a good idea to put blind fate in a few bits of information. Make sure to approach the first date or first online conversation as if it were a screening process, a job interview if you will. It doesn’t sound too romantic, but trust me, it’s better to get some things out in the open right from the start. You don’t have to have completely identical hobbies, tastes, aspirations and personalities, but you have to be able to see eye-to-eye on a few big issues – e.g. moral values, sense of humor and major life goals.
5. You’ll have to make a few misses before you strike gold, so be persistent
In the end it’s worth noting that very few people are lucky enough to hit the jackpot on their first try. Even though someone may seem to fit your criteria, they can easily have several serious deal breakers hidden away from sight. Don’t lose faith after a few mediocre experiences, and keep searching.
It may seem like there is no other person in the world that can give us what we need at times, but remember that there are billions of people in the world, and that it is all just a numbers game. There is someone who’s just right for you out there, no matter what you are into and what kind of life you lead.
