Procrastinating? Lacking Motivation? Try Piling On The Pain.


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Dan
Since 2001, Dan O'Neil, the Cracking Confidence Coach, has been helping people to take control of their lives and improve their confidence and self-esteem. He runs regular Confidence Workshops and writes articles all over the net.
Dan
Dan
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motivation and pain

Where’s my Motivation?

You know what it’s like, you’ve no motivation and yet there’s a massive pile of paperwork, outstanding admin and a huge list of overdue stuff that you haven’t done. The more you don’t do it, the more it looms until you reach a point where there’s just no other option than to get on with it. To be honest, that’s how most people work, me included! I’ve been working as a confidence and lifestyle coach since 2001 and in all that time, one of the major sources of people’s dissatisfaction in their life is due to a pile of things that they know they should be doing and just aren’t.

You’ll read lots of articles about how you have to have lists and other ways to motivate and organise yourself, but the bottom line is… WE ALL KNOW THIS ALREADY! Ask anyone what the solution to their stressed out life is and most will say, be more organised. They might even called it disciplined!

Frankly, having lists is great (although they don’t bring the motivation with them!) – I always make huge inroads into my workload when I remember that simple point. But, and it’s a BIG but… why do we forget? Why do we not do the things that we know will make the difference to our lives?

There’s an incredibly simple answer… it’s because we haven’t yet attached enough pain to the not doing all these things. What do I mean by that? Well, all tasks that we have to do have a perceived pain associated with them (unless you love absolutely everything that you do in which case you should be writing articles to help the rest of us!) – whether it’s the time it takes to do them, or it might be mind numbingly boring, or it might mean that you have

to take on some responsibilities that you’d rather not. Until such time as the perceived pain of doing these things is eclipsed by the perceived pain of not doing them (consequences – such as loss of respect, income, job, etc.), it’s so much easier not to bother! Our motivation takes us in whichever direction the pain is least.

Lacking Motivation to Do Something

Imagine you are self-employed and have to submit your tax return. Once the financial year has ended, there’s little incentive for you to do it then. There are a million and one other things to do. There is no pain involved in you not doing your tax return right there and then – However, there is a perceived pain associated with actually doing your return. Therefore it’s much easier and nicer to not do it!

As time passes, and the deadline looms, then financial penalties and other negative incentives come into view which mean that for some people there is enough pain associated with those deadlines and penalties to mean that it actually becomes less painful to get on with it, than it would be to not bother. There are even some people for whom that isn’t enough pain and they get into the penalties. At some point, the pain becomes enough for them to get on and do it!

How does this help us? Well, it’s a really great idea to pile on the pain when you know you are putting something off. Think about the task and what it will mean if you don’t get it done. It really helps to imagine the worst outcomes here – although remember you are not trying to paralyse yourself with fear, you are simply using a trick to bring forth some of the motivation that lurks inside us all. The more you can connect with the pain of not doing the thing you’re avoiding, the easier it is to get on with it and do it.

The truth is, when we get the motivation and actually do these things, they are never half as bad as we imagine them being, and there’s a huge sense of relief and pride to be gained from getting them done.