For those of you gentlemen (and ladies) out there who are looking to add a presence on dating sites to your arsenal of relationship resources, it helps to have an idea of how to present yourself. Whether in the real world or online, even the best methods for talking to women will fail if you lack the substance to back them up.
In the real world, this is called self-confidence and inner-game, and women can tell when it is missing. On the internet, it is all about the quality and content of your online dating site profile.
The Profile – Standing Out On Dating Sites
Details, details, details.
I have done case studies with women that have proven to me that small bits of content will send huge messages that can either make or break your successes with online dating. Let’s start from the beginning”¦
Choosing Your Username
When choosing your username for an online dating site, it is easy to come up with logical DON’Ts:
- Your name, followed by a series of numbers: Matt2361, Tommy789. No better way to say “I’m boring!!” than to demonstrate that you see yourself as the 2361st Matt to sign up. Be more creative.
- Occupations: Guitarboy100. You will have a chance to tell her all about your passions for strumming acoustic guitar in your profile, in your messages and on your first date. Be more unique.
- Anything ending in 69. Enough said.
Identifying what constitutes a great username is difficult in that it can vary so much from person to person. My most successful username was HÃ¯pster_Smash!, which was creative, unique and silly. Not only does that stand out from the crowd of dating site suitors, but it fits my personality. It also comes with a great story. But that’s for another time.
Pick a username that demonstrates creativity and energy. If you like, feel free to brainstorm potential usernames in the comments below, and we can critique them and make suggestions.
Your Profile Text
Every dating site has an “About Me” section of some sort. Some are more elaborate than others, but for now we will focus on Plentyoffish.com, since theirs is the most straightforward, and since PoF.com is a very widely used free dating site on the interwebs in the United States and around the world.
The two mantras I preach when it comes to profile text:
- Less is more.
- Show, don’t tell.
These very simple precepts will get you well on your way to injecting your personality and vibe into a profile that is wholly interesting and attractive to beautiful women everywhere.
Less Is More
When I set out on my first experiment in online dating, I went crazy with my profile. I had at least three paragraphs of “about me” text, and another two of “first date”. And I had already spent two years in the “seduction community”, which had helped me iron out the “nice guy” from me. The content was good, so why wasn’t I getting responses?
One day I had the radical idea to cut everything from the profile and keep it as short as possible, keeping enough in the text to get her intrigued, but leaving the vast majority of hard value out for later conversation.
Show, Don’t Tell
At one point, I decided to conduct an experiment. I would create a female profile and observe the male specimens who would contact her. I was shocked at how many lads had profiles that were littered with such gems as “I am a funny and charming dude” and “I’m really easygoing and I like to party”.
This reminded me of a mantra which my literature professor in school would repeat: show, don’t tell. It is weak to write “she was sad”, and much stronger, and indeed more descriptive, to describe “a solitary tear sliding off her rosy cheek”. Similarly, whilst a girl does want someone who is funny, responsible, accomplished etc, telling her that you are those things is much weaker than demonstrating them and letting her come to the same conclusion through observation.
My Profile Text
I eventually arrived at this:
I am a professional Irishman.
I open beer bottles with my mouth, and I enjoy microfleece blankets.
HÃ¯pster SMASH!: (noun) a man demonstrating superiority to all others in matters of masculinity, sensual dominance, ability to paralyse with his stare, and general awesomeness. See also: “the guy about whom your mum warned you”.
Sample sentence(s): That guy is so cool that he makes me wet my pants. He is a total HÃ¯pster SMASH!.
I also enjoy the colour pink.
Creative, yes. Silly, you betcha. But most importantly, it demonstrates the eccentricity and cocky/funny sense of humour that I carry with me at all times. Talk about making dating fun.
Side note: whilst I am providing this insight for you to include in your own online dating site ventures, I would caution against simply copy/pasting any text you might find here. That is me, not you, and as much as I am okay with girls falling head over heels for me, it is you we are trying to help out. I don’t need any more babes. Make your own variation!
Now on to the most important part of this dating site profile workshop: PROF PIX!
The Dating Site Profile Picture – Demonstrate High Value
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then nonsensical clichÃ©s would imply that in the world of online dating sites, pictures are very important. And they are.
I use my pictures to avoid the boring but stressful “describe yourself in 60 seconds!” feeling that comes with most biographical self-descriptions. The truth of the matter is, you can get the same point across much more vividly by attaching pictures of you presented in the right way.
Ideal pictures for dating sites have the following characteristics:
- You are doing something fun or interesting. This could be playing an instrument, competing in sport, participating in a hobby etc. This can help set you apart from the other lads, and it does so in a much more dynamic way than using the username “Footballer4U” or talking about your djembe in your profile text. For more reference, go back and re-read “show, don’t tell”.
- You have attractive women in your life. This can be easily overdone, but women want to know that a man they are considering has the preselection of other high-value women. They do not have to be sexual partners, but it is important that you have them in your life. A picture with a handful of friends (mixed company) will suffice if you are unsure of what sort of preselection is called for. Again, a little goes a long way.
- You are an alpha male. This is one thing that is very visible in photos, as it has a lot to do with body language. An alpha male is not overpowering to other men, and he is not always the centre of attention. Don’t be a guy full of false machismo. A true alpha male is self-confident and he is seen by others as a leader of men. This is very important in general, not just online.
As with the profile text, you want to let your personality show through your photos and present it in the best way possible. If you are certain to include these three components into your photos, you should have no problem getting your foot in the door with attractive women across the dating site world.
I am retired from the world of online dating sites. This article is for you, not me. See what you can do with this information, apply it to your own profile, or create one if you haven’t yet considered online dating as a way of creating new relationship potential for yourself.
I will be monitoring the comments, so if you have any questions or requests for clarification, feel free to present them below. If you have any additional points to expand on, I would love to hear your own experiences, successes and learning experiences. In addition, I encourage anyone who might be uncertain of their content to post it and we can all critique it together.
Let’s do it, people!