Own the Dating Site – Tips on Making Your Profile Irresistible

EVO
I am a professional Irishman. I open beer bottles with my mouth, and I enjoy micro-fleece blankets. I write about dating, relationships, lifestyle and learning. I also enjoy the colour pink. EvolvewithEVO.com
EVO
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Online Dating Site

Source: Glamour.com

For those of you gentlemen (and ladies) out there who are looking to add a presence on dating sites to your arsenal of relationship resources, it helps to have an idea of how to present yourself. Whether in the real world or online, even the best methods for talking to women will fail if you lack the substance to back them up.

In the real world, this is called self-confidence and inner-game, and women can tell when it is missing. On the internet, it is all about the quality and content of your online dating site profile.

The Profile – Standing Out On Dating Sites

Details, details, details.

I have done case studies with women that have proven to me that small bits of content will send huge messages that can either make or break your successes with online dating. Let’s start from the beginning”¦

Choosing Your Username

When choosing your username for an online dating site, it is easy to come up with logical DON’Ts:

  1. Your name, followed by a series of numbers: Matt2361, Tommy789. No better way to say “I’m boring!!” than to demonstrate that you see yourself as the 2361st Matt to sign up. Be more creative.
  2. Occupations: Guitarboy100. You will have a chance to tell her all about your passions for strumming acoustic guitar in your profile, in your messages and on your first date. Be more unique.
  3. Anything ending in 69. Enough said.

Identifying what constitutes a great username is difficult in that it can vary so much from person to person. My most successful username was Hïpster_Smash!, which was creative, unique and silly. Not only does that stand out from the crowd of dating site suitors, but it fits my personality. It also comes with a great story. But that’s for another time.

Pick a username that demonstrates creativity and energy. If you like, feel free to brainstorm potential usernames in the comments below, and we can critique them and make suggestions.

Your Profile Text

Every dating site has an “About Me” section of some sort. Some are more elaborate than others, but for now we will focus on Plentyoffish.com, since theirs is the most straightforward, and since PoF.com is a very widely used free dating site on the interwebs in the United States and around the world.

The two mantras I preach when it comes to profile text:

  1. Less is more.
  2. Show, don’t tell.

These very simple precepts will get you well on your way to injecting your personality and vibe into a profile that is wholly interesting and attractive to beautiful women everywhere.

Less Is More

When I set out on my first experiment in online dating, I went crazy with my profile. I had at least three paragraphs of “about me” text, and another two of “first date”. And I had already spent two years in the “seduction community”, which had helped me iron out the “nice guy” from me. The content was good, so why wasn’t I getting responses?

One day I had the radical idea to cut everything from the profile and keep it as short as possible, keeping enough in the text to get her intrigued, but leaving the vast majority of hard value out for later conversation.

Show, Don’t Tell

At one point, I decided to conduct an experiment. I would create a female profile and observe the male specimens who would contact her. I was shocked at how many lads had profiles that were littered with such gems as “I am a funny and charming dude” and “I’m really easygoing and I like to party”.

This reminded me of a mantra which my literature professor in school would repeat: show, don’t tell. It is weak to write “she was sad”, and much stronger, and indeed more descriptive, to describe “a solitary tear sliding off her rosy cheek”. Similarly, whilst a girl does want someone who is funny, responsible, accomplished etc, telling her that you are those things is much weaker than demonstrating them and letting her come to the same conclusion through observation.

My Profile Text

I eventually arrived at this:

I am a professional Irishman.

I open beer bottles with my mouth, and I enjoy microfleece blankets.

Hïpster SMASH!: (noun) a man demonstrating superiority to all others in matters of masculinity, sensual dominance, ability to paralyse with his stare, and general awesomeness. See also: “the guy about whom your mum warned you”.
Sample sentence(s): That guy is so cool that he makes me wet my pants. He is a total Hïpster SMASH!.

I also enjoy the colour pink.

Creative, yes. Silly, you betcha. But most importantly, it demonstrates the eccentricity and cocky/funny sense of humour that I carry with me at all times. Talk about making dating fun.

Side note: whilst I am providing this insight for you to include in your own online dating site ventures, I would caution against simply copy/pasting any text you might find here. That is me, not you, and as much as I am okay with girls falling head over heels for me, it is you we are trying to help out. I don’t need any more babes. Make your own variation!

Now on to the most important part of this dating site profile workshop: PROF PIX!

The Dating Site Profile Picture – Demonstrate High Value

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then nonsensical clichés would imply that in the world of online dating sites, pictures are very important. And they are.

I use my pictures to avoid the boring but stressful “describe yourself in 60 seconds!” feeling that comes with most biographical self-descriptions. The truth of the matter is, you can get the same point across much more vividly by attaching pictures of you presented in the right way.

Ideal pictures for dating sites have the following characteristics:

  1. You are doing something fun or interesting. This could be playing an instrument, competing in sport, participating in a hobby etc. This can help set you apart from the other lads, and it does so in a much more dynamic way than using the username “Footballer4U” or talking about your djembe in your profile text. For more reference, go back and re-read “show, don’t tell”.
  2. You have attractive women in your life. This can be easily overdone, but women want to know that a man they are considering has the preselection of other high-value women. They do not have to be sexual partners, but it is important that you have them in your life. A picture with a handful of friends (mixed company) will suffice if you are unsure of what sort of preselection is called for. Again, a little goes a long way.
  3. You are an alpha male. This is one thing that is very visible in photos, as it has a lot to do with body language. An alpha male is not overpowering to other men, and he is not always the centre of attention. Don’t be a guy full of false machismo. A true alpha male is self-confident and he is seen by others as a leader of men. This is very important in general, not just online.

As with the profile text, you want to let your personality show through your photos and present it in the best way possible. If you are certain to include these three components into your photos, you should have no problem getting your foot in the door with attractive women across the dating site world.

Your Turn

I am retired from the world of online dating sites. This article is for you, not me. See what you can do with this information, apply it to your own profile, or create one if you haven’t yet considered online dating as a way of creating new relationship potential for yourself.

I will be monitoring the comments, so if you have any questions or requests for clarification, feel free to present them below. If you have any additional points to expand on, I would love to hear your own experiences, successes and learning experiences. In addition, I encourage anyone who might be uncertain of their content to post it and we can all critique it together.

Let’s do it, people! 

Comments

  1. The post is very nice. But to my opinion all these dating sites are complete utopia. Tell you that i had an experience with one marriage agency Anastasia.com and i had to pay to communicate with girls. The agency took money for everything, for letters, for pics and so on. Every time when I entered the site I was bombarded by girls invitation and letters. Letter I found out that the agency pay to girls for contacting man and ask him for letters and gifts etc. So, it leads to neverland. They don’t care either you are funny or ugly, they need only cash…
    Evan recently posted…Top 40 Great Blog themes for WordPress 2013My Profile

  2. I too feel like these dating sites are a big scam…They seem to prey on lonely people that will do or pay anything for a chance at a relationship.

    • Thanks for your comment, John. Have you tried any of the free sites out there? Judging from your own site, you are in the USA, right? Plenty of Fish and OKCupid are both free sites, a great place to start if you are looking to test the waters.

      Best of luck, and do feel free to leave any questions if you should have any!

  3. Hi EVO !
    Thank you for your Excellent dating tutorial. I love your onine dating tricks. In this virtual age, people are engaging in online dating and your ideas will plus to get sucess.

    • Hey Googma, thanks for both comments. I am glad you’ve found value in this tutorial! You are spot-on, technological advances have pioneered new media for meeting people and starting relationships. It is something that I find both interesting and exciting!

      I hope you got something out of this. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions, OR if you happen upon any instances of success in your own online endavours.

      Cheers!

  4. I like the “fun or interesting” idea for the profile pics, but this idea can be subjective. While a guy may perceive that holding the dead deer they just slaughtered to be fun and interesting, a potential mate, not so much. Something to consider.

    • You are definitely right about that. I would compare it to this: as a musician, I have observed that many women find this at the very least intriguing, if not outright attractive. There is however the occasional girl who says “I don’t date musicians” for one reason or another. Whilst it is not exactly fair of them to judge me solely on that, nobody can force compatibility, and both in this example as well as in your deerhunting example, the most important thing is that you are presenting your real and genuine self in your profile text and pictures.

      Thanks for the comment!

  5. I Seriously love your profile text. It would work on me if I was single! It makes you seem charming, confident, and interesting at the same time.

    At first I was hesitant about your idea to have attractive women in the picture, but I can see how that would work. Even if she is in the background with a friend of yours, it would make you seem as though you are a desirable man who is around desirable people. I get it.

    Online dating is huge, and this is a great article to get your profile to stand out.
    Kari recently posted…Be Compassionate: Can It Help Us Be Happy?My Profile

    • Many thanks for the kind words! I too am in a relationship, but it is nice to know I’ve still got it. ;)

      You are totally right about having women in the picture. There is a very, very fine line between demonstrating that you have high-value women in your life and simply trying to force preselection. The former is necessary both in real life and online, and the second makes you the try-hard beta male. No thanks!

      I am glad you enjoyed the article, and I really hope some of the lonely young men and women out there might stumble upon this and perhaps put a missing piece or two into their “game”.

      Thanks again for the input. Cheers!

  6. Loy Williams says:

    Lol! “Anything ending in 69.” Enough said indeed!

    I’d like to expand on your info about the picture if I may. Specifically the comment on being an Alpha Male. One of the best ways I’ve found to communicate this is to have pics taken of you doing something physical.

    It doesn’t have to be expensive or even cost money at all. I went hiking once and just adding that picture to the ones I had posted got me seven messages.

    • Thanks for the comment Loy; I agree completely with what you have added.

      There are many ways to demonstrate that you are an alpha male. In the link below, you can see my own article post, including the pictures I was using when I was getting the best results from online dating. My most alpha pic was one of me leading my band at a live show. Physical activity is a great way to show this as well, and it can be as simple as having a photograph taken of you hiking as per your example, playing pickup basketball, or anything that shows an interest and drive to be active and take initiative.

      Glad to hear you saw good results from your experience, and thanks for the contribution. Cheers!

  7. nice information. but i know little bit and now getting all problem :)
    Rahul Kashyap recently posted…The Lords of Salem (2013)My Profile

  8. Thanks for your sharing, and i saw many dating sites but most of them are spam and related to affiliate programs. And do agree “less is more” when you are writing your profile

    • Hey Kelvin, thanks for the comment! I would suggest you find a free dating site and try it out, if you are interested. Even on non-subscriptive sites, there is a great deal of potential in terms of meeting attractive women and men in your area. I recommend it for anyone looking for a boost in his or her dating life!

  9. Taswir Haider says:

    Nice post! I love your onine dating tricks. In this virtual age, people are engaging in online dating and your ideas will plus to get success.

  10. Rahul kale says:

    Great post EVO,
    Thanks for your Tips on Making Your Profile Irresistible. This will really help us moving forward, you doing really great job. Let such things come up and Keep share it with us.
    Cheers to you…;-)

  11. for me, all dating site are Utopia. They only using a lonely person to get some cash. But if you bored and looking some fun, dating site is the place than social networking like fb and twitter.
    Syazrin Rayhan recently posted…Kehilangan blog Lyssa FaizureenMy Profile

    • You are completely right, Syazrin! I would recommend free sites, because there is no fee and lots of other people looking to make a new connection. I agree 100% that dating sites are heaps better than Facebook or Twitter. In fact, I wrote a post (link below) about why trying to pick up girls on Facebook is a bad idea. Feel free to have a look at it and let me know what you think!

  12. anil bhogia says:

    written above thought are agree .but they are lonely person visit the site.which earn to some money.this site owner earn to surplus money if site connected to social networking site.

  13. Some of the nice tips you have given here, well, I don’t have any profile on dating website, so not of much use to me!
    Krishna Parmar recently posted…Torrific Alternatives & Similar SitesMy Profile

    • Hey Krishna, thank you for the kind words. Some people prefer not to participate in online dating sites, and that is perfectly fine. I would however recommend it to anyone who might be looking to give a little kick to their dating lives!

  14. Agreed..profile speaks volumes..but its very essential to be authentic as surprises aren’t that romantic when it comes to online dating.

    • Hey Anchal, thanks for your comment! I agree 100%, authenticity is necessary to have success in dating, whether online or in real life. In pickup we call this “being congruent”; the way you communicate with women must show her who you really are.

      I think there is a difference between “surprise” and “intrigue”. When I think of being surprised by a girl I’ve met online, I usually think of something negative. “She surprised me by having three ears…I did not see that coming!” – not good. Intrigue on the other hand keeps a level of mystery and suspense, which does a lot towards creating and sustaining attraction in a woman.

      Does that make sense? Thanks again for the input!

  15. put your charming pic for best results :)
    Moin Ramiz recently posted…Get Jobs In NAB 2013My Profile

  16. now a days online dating is at fire mode …everyone want to give a shot on such website where attractive profile makes a different and how ? you have already shown that.
    Nikitajain recently posted…Best of Shayari | 30 Type of Shayari CollectionMy Profile

  17. a very nice post ! and motivating too ! thumbs up author !
    harshi recently posted…How to Root Sony Xperia Sola !My Profile

  18. veronica says:

    Wow, finally one good post about how to improve an online dating profile. I also think that most of the users in a dating website don’t spend enough time choosing a good nickname, photos and an appropriate headline.

    • Thanks for your comment, Veronica! I agree, these things are important, as they are the online equivalent of the “first impression” in real life. Moreover, I believe you can do a lot to help your cause by being clever and showing your personality through your username, photo selection and profile text.

      PS: hace mucho tiempo que no utilizo mi español, pero ahora trato de leer el artículo que has fijado aquí. Danke schön!

  19. No all you need is a really promiscuous profile picture and a profile that says you have tons of money. lol
    Leslie Edwards recently posted…The Basics On How To Make Electronic Music: Drum LoopsMy Profile

    • Haha, you have a clever point there, Ms Edwards. ;) Your image will attract a certain type of person. If you are looking to be a “sugardaddy”, then you’ve hit it spot on. It is, at any rate, important to consider this as an effect of the way we present ourselves. That holds true for men and women, in-person as well as online.

  20. With online dating becoming more and more the norm, people should really follow these simple steps. Especially when it comes to your profile picture.
    Tommy recently posted…Relationships What Men WantMy Profile

  21. Hey Evo,
    Nice post and Thanks for sharing these interesting tips with us and I really like all the points you mentioned above specially the way you write your profile text. Thanks for sharing it with us. Yes, now its my turn as after learning tips from you, I have to implement it.
    Sudipto recently posted…Best Korean Romantic MoviesMy Profile

  22. Hi Evan ! I agree with your opinion And Great post and useful information, and clean information about the post for Own the Dating Site – Tips on Making Your Profile Irresistible .Thanks for shared for such amazing information. Really nice post

  23. Spot on. Looks like you’ve got everything covered. But I’d like to add that it’s important to show that you have a life or you’ve got your life handled. And that you have are fun to be around with. If you can hit many attraction triggers… that would make your profile irresistible.
    Chris recently posted…How To Attract Single Women OnlineMy Profile

  24. Out of the complete para i loved this one…
    You have attractive women in your life. This can be easily overdone, but women want to know that a man they are considering has the preselection of other high-value women. They do not have to be sexual partners,
    Haha
    SAJID recently posted…Gmail Login – http://www.Gmail.com – Gmail Sign InMy Profile

  25. Great tips. I wonder if MrMagic69 as a username ok or offensive. I have tried online dating on one site, before I meet my girlfriend. If i had these tips maybe I would had more emails.

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