Validation. Young, old, rich, poor, no matter our age, sex, or station in life, the human ego feeds on validation. Without it, we wither & die in a sea of misery & discontent. With it, we are capable of greatness, of pushing ourselves to do more & be more. However, validation is dependent on one thing…one thing that is both completely out of our control, & completely within our control. Those around us.
Outside of our control because we cannot force others to appreciate our talents & efforts. Within our control because we CAN be the person who is always ready & willing to acknowledge & appreciate the talents & efforts of those around us. We’ve all heard the tired clichés, “What comes around, goes around.”, or, “Karma’s a bitch.”, but clichés become clichés for the element of truth they hold. If you are not willing to reach out & validate the people within your blogging community, you can’t expect them to be lining up to shower your comment section with accolades. By the same token, when you do show other bloggers respect & appreciation, they will reciprocate in kind.
The Beginning of Blogging
When I first began blogging, a mere 6 months ago, I was spurned by some of the more established bloggers I initially reached out to. Unable to find the validation I so desperately needed from those in the community, I almost gave up the whole idea of Crazy Town. Instead, I changed tactics & fell back on yet another tired cliché…You catch more flies with sugar. Rather than seeking validation for myself, I began doling it out relentlessly. So relentlessly in fact, that I quickly gained the reputation of being a “Fairy Blogmother”. I comment all over the internet on a routine basis, tweet links left, right, & center, & I offered up 8 guest posts on my blog in one month. I mention, & link to, all of my favourite bloggers regularly. I even began making buttons for total strangers, at times completely unbeknownst to them, just to add them to my blog roll, & then I send them the codes they need to add it to their own site. I offer up tips & advice to “newbies” to improve their traffic & guide them through the etiquette of blogging. And of course, I added Comment Luv & began using Mr. Linky. Eventually, I got my validation…in the giving of it. Did I just slip another cliché past you? Why yes, I think I did…Give & you shall receive.
It really is as simple as that
Comment Luv provides a quick & easy manner in which to spread the “luv” from site to site, & is the first step you can take with your blog towards validating others & showing your appreciation…treat others as you wish to be treated. I know, mad skills with the clichés! As a commenter, bear in mind that the blog owner has just given you a fabulous opportunity to receive validation of your own. The best way to utilize this is to ensure that the title you leave behind is going to grab others by the hand & yank them in to your world. And of course, leave an engaging & witty comment behind in return for the Comment Luv…validate them. It’s the human condition.
Twitter: kikolani
says:
There’s nothing wrong with cliches!
Do unto others and all of that. CommentLuv really is a great way to show appreciation to the people that matter the most to your blog – your commenters! And it shows appreciation to the readers as well in the fact that you are generous enough to offer up more resources, even if they aren’t on your site through the CommentLuv links.
Kristi recently posted..Article Marketing Promotion with Blog Commenting
This is my witty and engaging comment: I love you, I think you’re fabulous, you make me laugh, and you have graciously left comments on my own blog which have validated my very existence. I’m voting for you with this comment…right? This is a vote, right? Or do I need to go somewhere else to click, ’cause I will! You are seriously one of my favourite bloggers out there! Good luck!
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Wow Sandra, thnx soo much! And you in turn, have validated me! Gotta love spreading the luv! I really appreciate the support, & I know you’re just getting started, pls let me know if I can help in any way! I’ve been thru all the stumbling & fumbling LOL!
ctmayor recently posted..Google Me This…
Twitter: mmdrama
says:
you just started blogging 6 months ago? wow – awesome post
and I love your blog!!
Momma Drama recently posted..Important Moving Tips
Twitter: bizchickblogs
says:
I think your experience is echoed by many bloggers – myself included. I honestly do feel that CommentLuv is a gift to readers. Giving the gift will encourage more commenting from other bloggers.
I don’t restrict commenting just to CommentLuv blogs, but when I see it installed on someone’s blog, I feel like they are involved with their readership and want their blogs to be communities rather than soapboxes, and that is enticing.
Tia recently posted..Two Cents Tuesday- Blog Design is a Woman’s Prerogative
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Thnx guys! I agree, I don’t restrict myself to blogs with Comment Luv, but often if they are new, I will walk them thru installing the plug in so they can reach out to the community a little better. And I absolutely want folks to know how much I appreciate their comments & their support, we all know how hard it can be to keep up with our faves but the validation is so important!
ctmayor recently posted..Show Me Some Comment Luv-
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Sorry, here’s the link to my contest post also!
http://crazytownmayor.com/blog/3280/show-me-comment-luv/
Thnx again for the support!
ctmayor recently posted..Show Me Some Comment Luv-
I’m all over this shit hooker! I loooove you!
Ashley Dungan recently posted..Stilettos to match my Tiara-
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
What would I do without my peeps??!! Thnx lady!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
says:
I LOVE Comment LUV. LOVE your post and one day i will migrate over to WordPress and use CommentLUV ♥
Devan recently posted..VLOG Accustomed Chaos Gets New Ink
Twitter: Ileane
says:
Hey Devan, it looks like you have a Blogger blog. Just to let you know you can install the Intense Debate commenting system on Blogger and activate the CommentLuv plugin. You can take a look at my blog as an example. I hope you give it a try because the default commenting system on Blogger is the worse.
Ileane recently posted..CommentLuv on Blogger
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Thnx Ileane for the tip, sooo many of my fave blogs are on Blogger, & I’m not always certain how to help them use their site! I agree, not the best comment system used on there, any help offered is great!
Devan, I appreciate your support chickie! I do love WP, it is pretty user friendly, especially for plug ins like Comment Luv! When you do make the change, I’m happy to help with any questions, & in the meantime hopefully some of the info offered here will be of use!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Twitter: GrowMap
says:
Congratulations on participating in the contest. I know you will gain benefits far beyond the possible cash prize. I spelled out some of them in my latest CommentLuv contest post.
That post also includes more tips on how to promote your entry and announces that the deadline to enter has been extended one week to July 13, 2010.
GrowMap recently posted..How CommentLuv Grows Businesses and Blogs
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Thnx so much!! I read up, & don’t worry, I have no doubt there will be many benefits to expanding my horizons by taking part in such a wonderful opportunity! Great info being put out, new & exciting folks to meet & read, what more could I ask for??!!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
great post, I’ve never used comment luv, is it a wordpress thing? regardless, everything you said holds true for everyone. Just treat others like you want to be treated, spread the love around! more cliche’s! love it!
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Soglad the cliches weren’t going overboard LOL! Thnx for the support! Comment Luv is an incredible plug in for blogs that allows the commenter to have their most recent post link added to their comment! If you take a look above, one of the other comments from Ileane explains how to use it on Blogger. I highly recommend it as a way to encourage comments & find new blogs, & friends, yourself!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
I don’t really know what Comment Luv is, but you know I luv your blog — I was surprised when I found out you’d only been blogging for 6 months also. You’ve really increased your readership in a short time, so clearly you’re doing something right (something about you knowing stuff about computers other than how to turn them on and then yell for your husband to help you, which is pretty much where I sit on the spectrum).
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
LOL, around Crazy Town I’m the one everyone hollers for when the computer acts up! Thnx for the luv! You should look in to adding the plug in for Comment Luv, on WP it’s really simple & there are tips here to add it to other blogging sites, browse around!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Twitter: Ileane
says:
CTMayor, I like your style
You must be fun to hang out with too. I’m glad you found out about CommentLuv so early on in your blogging career. It can really take you places and get the attention of your audience and help you make a name for yourself. Good for you and best of luck in the contest.
Ileane recently posted..CommentLuv Gives Your Blog Heart
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Thank you so much for your wonderful support! I agree, I am glad to have found Comment Luv early on, I do believe it’s a way to let my commenters know I appreciate them! I have also found many other new friends by seeing titles that jump out at me on my own blog, & having them draw me in to clicking & visiting them!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Twitter: Pinkrobe
says:
I love this post and it makes total sense now I did try to figure out Comment Luv on WordPress and got all confused but I am a little slow and will keep trying!
Lucy recently posted..Post It Note Tuesday- Pay It Forward-
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Thnx Lucy, so nice to have the support! WP is pretty easy….
Download/save the zip file for Comment Luv WordPress plug in
In your Plug ins, hit Add New…then hit Browse & upload the file from where you saved it, still zipped
Once it is uploaded, you just click Install, & it’s done!
If all else fails, do what I do…Google the “how to” & find somewhere that will walk you thru it step by step LOL
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Good job! When I was a new blogger I craved blogs that had comment-luv on their blog. It almost always sent a few people my way and it was much needed then. It’s still much appreciated now. I love Comment-Luv.
Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) recently posted..Sweet Peas -amp Peas- Wednesday of Few Words
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Funny, that may even be how we found each other?? LOL! So glad you stopped by, I appreciate your kind words, & you are sooo right, it IS much needed in the beginning!!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Twitter: peterhanfileti
says:
Excellent points, ctmayor! I joined CommentLuv recently and have just now gotten the hang of it. You have convinced me to consider entering the contest. Even though I am in a very narrow niche I am going to see what I can do to explore the topic of commenting on blogs, both in the giving and receiving aspects.
Peter Hanfileti recently posted..Online Course for Parents
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
YAY, so glad you decided to enter! I think the fact that we all LUV Comment Luv is what inspired us to enter, it’s such a Fab plug in & deserves the recognition! Good luck, look forward to reading your post!!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Showing some comment luv to my Fairy Blogmother:) I too am blown away that you’ve only been doing this for 6 months – you’re already like a seasoned pro! Love Crazy Town & The Mayor.
I’m gonna have to try out this Comment Luv thingie…
Pamela recently posted..Wasnt That a Party-
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Oh yes Pamela, you must add it!! And thnx, I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know & “work” with you! I truly value the community of friends I have made, yes, in a short 6mnths LOL!
Thnx for the luv & support chickie!
ctmayor recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Happy Bunny Edition-
Twitter: lambdakennels1
says:
Your use of the cliches was very well done. I always say stereotypes become stereotypes because they contain some kernel of truth. Gook luck in the contest.
stephaniesuesansmith recently posted..Growing Your Blog’s Income
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Thnx!! I agree, whenever my son accuses me of “stereotyping” from the all knowing wisdom of a 12yr old who is just grasping the term LOL, that’s my exact response…stereotypes become stereotypes for the element of truth they hold! Cliches are the same, the difference being the kernels of wisdomthey provide us!
ctmayor recently posted..Google Me This…
I agree 100%. when I first started I got nuttin on my blog. So I went around commenting on others and low and behold, they returned the favour. The best part is that a few of them have became good friends with me. Who knew?!
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
I agree, the best part is absolutely the friendships I have formed! It truly is a community, & I love that feeling!
CTMayor recently posted..- Friday-
Twitter: torontodentist1
says:
I enjoyed your post.
Your comments on validation are so true. Makes me think of the book Whale Done where training killer whales is used as an example for training people. It’s about positive reinforcement because it’s not a good idea to whack a whale!
recently posted..Personal Drama – Drama Queen Part I
Toronto Dentist
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Nope, I don’t suppose it IS a good idea to whack a whale LOL! Validation & postive reinforcement go hand in hand, you really do catch more flies with sugar!
The Mayor! recently posted..Walking The Red Carpet-
Twitter: junevaa
says:
I started my blog for two month ago, honestly it is just crazy ever to get an idea to get traffic, but comluv, I do not know if it is working to my blog traffic, but at least I know the people who give comment here have same boat with me.
macist recently posted..Germany Beat Uruguay To Third Place
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
The traffic will come by getting yourself out in the community! Another great Comment Luv plug in I use is the Twitter ID, it’s yet another opportunity to make connections with your peers!
The Mayor! recently posted..Walking The Red Carpet-
Well a little validation goes along way both when we give and when we receive. A simple THANK YOU can be validation enough for someone to realize that you recognize the effort that they have put forth on your behalf and visa versa. It’s a two way street that if paved properly never needs repairs.
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
If paved properly never needs repairs…how very poetic, & so true! I love it!
The Mayor! recently posted..Walking The Red Carpet-
Twitter: dailymomdiaries
says:
You are my total fav and I love, love love you :O) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love your quick wit and charm and most of all I adore your moral support, it means the world to me!
From the other Tracy
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
Thnx so very much Tracy! And I too value & appreciate the support I get from friends like you! I’m often so touched to realize that I’ve actually built caring & supportive relationships with my fellow bloggers, & all of you have truly enriched my life!
The Mayor! recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Vacation Edition!
You inspired me to start my own blog, were one of my first followers and always there for help. Thanks for my sunshine award!
Damn “touch” I’m doing this on the go, excuse spelling
You are such a help to newbies like me! Thanks for everything.
Twitter: CTMayor
says:
*Blush* Thank you so much for your wonderful words! I’m humbled & flattered to think of myself as an “inspiration” LOL, but I think it’s critical to support & encourage the new comers…validation! It’s what helps to keep us going when the going gets tough!
The Mayor! recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Vacation Edition!