Security, stability and safety don’t exist. You think they do but they do not. It’s something made up in your mind or it was a story, a fairytale, someone told you. Probably someone you trust implicitly. And you chose to believe them because it felt good.
Well wait a second. Maybe you didn’t “choose” to believe it. Maybe something in your brain, your primitive Lizard Brainotherwise known as your amygdala, latched onto it because the alternative to security, stability and safety is uncertainty, fear and failure. It was easy to believe the fairy tale about security, stability and safety.
- What has all three of those S’s? Your job? Your family? Your next meal? All of those can and will disappear in the blink of an eye. The things you cling to that are your 3 S’s can and will leave you unless…. Unless you decide to be remarkable. Choose to be great at your job, being a husband or parent or even a consumer of meals. Enjoy them with every ounce of your being. It’s hard to do because it sounds silly. “What do you mean be remarkable?” That’s your lizard brain telling you to do something easy instead of doing something great.
It’s easy not to be a great husband or father. Don’t do anything. Just sit there. You risked nothing. You didn’t have to put yourself out there and risk failure or disappointment. You grabbed a beer and sat and watched Two and a Half Men. You didn’t do this once, you do it a majority of the time. Ok, all the time.
Same thing at work. Don’t make waves. Put your head in the sand like an ostrich even though you KNOW what works and what doesn’t. Even though your boss is an idiot and you could fix or improve whatever it is you do. Don’t do anything.
The cost of doing nothing is a long slow failure that will result in uncertainty, fear and failure. The exact place you were trying not to go to. Sometimes that’s called retirement.
That idea is stupid. I don’t know how to do that. It’ll never work.
You’re right, forget it. You can’t argue with a Lizard Brained thinker until they realize those “failure” thoughts are just your Lizard Brain talking.
The Lizard Brain is not my concept. Seth Godin writes about it. But you’ve never heard of it until now. Better late than never. At least you’ve stumbled across this blog, that’s good.
You suck because you are afraid of uncertainty, fear and failure. Rather your Lizard Brain tells you that you are. It drives everything you do. But your lizard brain, that tiny part of your psyche that makes your palms sweat when you speak in public or tells you to check facebook instead of talking to your husband or gets you to crack another beer and watch American Idol instead of playing with your kids or being great at your work takes over. Because it’s easy without risk.
“How did this happen?”
If you have to ask that question, you have a serious problem. You probably listen to your Lizard Brain too much. That little voice in the back of your head that would rather spend hours upon hours of doing nothing that matters rather than putting yourself out there to expose your strengths and flaws to possible success (“or failure and death” says the Lizard Brain).
Ever known someone who always has “bad luck” Or who can never quite get it together in their personal and professional life. Sure. It’s everyone. Everyone has issues and problems, hence, we suck. It’s that stupid part of our brain that fears the unknown because, well, it’s unknown.
I spent almost 12 years in a career I loved and where I excelled. It provided security, stability and safety. My family was always taken care of and I was in the upper echelon of success and in a position to affect organizations with a clear career path in a well respected career. The pension and medical plan was unbeatable too. I was vested in just eight more years if I would have stuck around. Everything anyone would ever want. Who would give that up!
I did. I quit.
All the other Lizard Brains told me I was crazy. You only have eight years to go!, they said. What are you going to do!, they wondered aloud. What about your family!, they cried.
It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. This was a very personal decision because I truly believed in what I was doing at the time. You see, that amazing job was being an Army Officer. I made that decision to leave the service for none of the reasons listed above. None of the Lizard Brained reasons or questions mentioned. I made it because I knew, in my heart, that I could still thrive without the Army. Because at the end of the day, I’m still me. I’m still the guy who outperformed the best and brightest. I was able to take my education, experiences and work ethic with me when I left. My job didn’t, and never will, define who I am. For a while I WAS my job. I was my RANK and my LAST NAME. My life was miserable whenever I wasn’t wearing the uniform. So I quit and ever since I quit my life has been better than I could have ever imagined it would have been. (Here’s my blog)
So what’s holding you back from making a plan and doing something else?
“When I grow up I want to have a pension”
Go ask a 6 year old what they want when they grown up. They say things like; a veterinarian, a lawyer, a police man, a mommy, or President.
But go ask a 35 year old; I want health benefits, reliable income, security, great wages, safety, a decent house, stability and a shiny car.
The 6 year old wants to do something because it appeals to them even if they don’t know why. Even with limited knowledge of the job or career they honor what that person does not what they get for it.
The 35 year old has obligations. College loans, car loans, kids, wife, mortgage, plasma TVs, blah, blah, blah. All of those are your Lizard Brain driving you to do what’s easy without risk of failure… which in the end will cause something to fail. Something will happen like, you’ll lose your house to foreclosure because “the right thing” to do was buy instead of rent. And then your company failed because of the other Lizard Brains who run it. Or get a college education is the only way to get ahead… until you don’t have a job and all you have is student loans, or maybe you got married and got lazy and then your wife left you because you aren’t the person you used to be. Or you just couldn’t wait for that new gadget so you pulled out your credit card and charged it. And let’s remember you used that credit card because your Lizard Brain knows it’s easy and that saving money is hard. You might fail to save enough or die before you can buy it! Yes, that is what your Lizard Brain thinks.
You failed to be remarkable. It’s your fault. You suck. Stop sucking.
So now what?
Answer the question; what would you do if you could do anything? Make the proposal at work for something better? Or heck, just do it without permission. Be a better Dad by being present and in the moment? Start that book or blog you’ve been meaning to write but just don’t have the time? Figure out what it is and do it. Failure isn’t that bad. Failure is totally fine. You will not lose everything. You will not die. I promise. If you die, that’s mere coincide.
You have the time. It’s the same 24 hours every single day. Everyone has competing priorities. Everyone has a life. Everyone also has thousands of excuses not to do what they want. What’s holding them back… fear of failure probably. Either you make things happen or things happen to you. It’s your choice. You make that choice (or your Lizard Brain does) every day.
You’ll probably fail a little bit. That’s okay too. What is the cost of failure? It’s not as bad as you might think. If it involves a lot of money, pay with cash. If you are going to be ridiculed because your service or ideas focuses on a small amount of people, that’s okay. Just enjoy it while you are doing it.
You have to do one thing, suspend the thought of instant gratification. If you are trying to building something you aren’t going to get instant gratification. It’s takes times. So enjoy the milestones. Do whatever it is you want to do because it’s going to make you happy.
Total failures… until they weren’t
- Abe Lincoln lost a bunch of elections before being elected President.
- Thomas Edison took 9000 experiments to get the light bulb right.
- Winston Churchill failed 6th grade.
- John Grisham’s first novel was rejected by about two dozen different organizations.
- Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard.
- Henry Ford’s first two automotive companies failed.
- Albert Einstein’s parents though he was so dumb they told him to quit school.
It’s okay to fail. It’s just one more step on the way to achieving your greatness. Just stop listening to your Lizard Brain.
good post – well written – grabs the audiences attention – also I do agree that you need to take a chance in order to succeed however MANY people LACK that ability – that is why they stay in jobs they hate or do rely heavily on the the three S’s.
You mentioned zuckerberg and gates (in addition to many more) – BOTH whom are extremely smart people – geniuses to be exact – not too many people can be called that these days.
The only way to succeed is to know what you are doing and then pursue it – if people just quit their jobs out of the blue then there is no way in hell they will become the next gates or zuckerberg.
SO I say to you all, Take a chance, learn something that you are good at and PURSUE IT!
zoopco´s recent blog post ..Google Is NOT The Best Search Engine
Twitter: reitertweets
says:
Thanks so much for reading and the feedback.
Putting ourselves out there and risking failure (or success) is a scary thing, but can be overcome. Glad you liked the post and good luck.
-Matt
reiter331´s recent blog post ..4 leadership traits
Twitter: xaffiliatex
says:
Excellent post! Just the motivation I needed. The only way to truly fail is to do nothing.
Lisa
Twitter: reitertweets
says:
Thanks for the feedback. Good luck on your journey.
reiter331´s recent blog post ..4 leadership traits
Twitter: vitobotta
says:
Agreed. I feel my worst enemy is laziness. I often feel I have good ideas, but often I also lack the courage to dare. And then the time goes by, somebody else in the meantime has realised those ideas that are no longer yours, and you are there, sitting, watching their success and wondering why you haven’t tried.
Your comment, together with the post -thanks, @reiter331- is a fresh reminder that life is short, and if you don’t try, you have already failed. Thank you.
Cheers
Vito
Vito Botta´s recent blog post ..Smarter- faster backups and restores of MySQL databases using mysqldump – and other useful tips
Twitter: netchunks
says:
A Great motivational post, A really innovative concept of the “Lizard Brian” which I suppose means to indicate our Lazy brains. Yup, true many people do fail because they are lazy not because they are not talented. They do not want to take the risk and fail and at the end they become what they fear the most failures. Sometimes my mind too has acted like the “Lizard Brain” you mention but nowadays i have started to learn things to control my Lizard brain and be more active and productive. So lets hope for the best.
netchunks´s recent blog post ..The Importance of Maintaining a Trusted Link!
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says:
Netchunks,
You are doing better than most. We all wrestle with the question, “What if I fail”. Answering that question helped my start my blog that I’ve been talking about doing for a year. It was hard to overcome. But now that the ball is rolling it takes on a life of its own. Now I’d like to answer the question, “What if I succeed”.
I really appreciate the comments. If you think this post or my blog can help someone else I’d be honored if you’d pass it on to your friends and facebook friends. Thanks for reading and good luck!
I’m also trying to figure out SEO right now… So I’ll be visiting your site today.
reiter331´s recent blog post ..4 leadership traits
Twitter: FirstFound
says:
“Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard.”
Yeah, but so’s the guy that works in McDonalds on the corner. Most failures are failures for life…
Andy´s recent blog post ..BT Under Fire From Net Neutrality Supporters
Twitter: reitertweets
says:
I know a lot of smart people, really smart people, who aren’t millionaires. Having “brains” is just one small part of success. Having the motivation and wherewithal to create, ship and implement even in the face of failure is something completely different.
Thanks for the comment Andy.
reiter331´s recent blog post ..How to kill your coworkers with PowerPoint
I dont agree with this at all
Show me a ONE guy who went to harvard thats working at mcdonalds now whose a loser – and I dont think that failures are failures for life – unless you have a mental/physical disability that prevents you from doing something – there is no reason at all that you cant be successful
zoopco´s recent blog post ..Do Follow WILL Increase Traffic And Valuable Comments
Twitter: reitertweets
says:
My point is that they dropped out. They failed to complete their degree. What they’ve done since that point is succeed on an epic scale. Failure is a key part to eventual success.
Note the picture I chose at the beginning of the post, it’s about failing a lot on your way to success.
You can’t be afraid to fail.
reiter331´s recent blog post ..How to kill your coworkers with PowerPoint
Twitter: vitobotta
says:
The funny thing is that those guys have dropped out and then have become millionaires or billionaires. I wouldn’t mind a few millions in my bank account either, but I also wish I had had a chance to complete my own degree… I had to work to pay the fees and everything, and in the end I had to give up because I couldn’t commit myself because of the time etc.
vitobotta´s recent blog post ..Smarter- faster backups and restores of MySQL databases using mysqldump – and other useful tips
Twitter: reitertweets
says:
They didn’t just become billionaires out of chance. They worked at it and saw their vision through. They weren’t afraid to fail. They kept plugging along. You’ll find a similar thread through most successful people.
Thanks for the comment.
reiter331´s recent blog post ..Searching for Obi Wan
Twitter: vitobotta
says:
Sure, I didn’t mean that they were just lucky or something.
Surely these people are very smart, and have worked hard to become what they are now.
As for my previous comment, I was just thinking how much I would have liked to complete my studies I didn’t have a chance to; in the end, these things imho can make happiness too, not just the money.
If I were rich now, I would perhaps still feel that I’ve missed something anyway.
vitobotta´s recent blog post ..Smarter- faster backups and restores of MySQL databases using mysqldump – and other useful tips
Twitter: reitertweets
says:
What’s holding you back your dreams? Money? Time? Distance?
reiter331´s recent blog post ..Searching for Obi Wan
Twitter: reitertweets
says:
…from your dreams…
No edit button here!
reiter331´s recent blog post ..Searching for Obi Wan
You walked away from the Army as an officer? Wow…you sound EXACTLY like someone I know really well
You are so right. I begged people to get out of the housing market yearly from 2004-2007 knowing that something bad was coming. They laughed and said I was crazy. I told people to get out of their IRA’s in 2001 and get into gold or invest in foreign stocks. Again I’m the crazy one. Now I tell people to stock at least 6-12 months of non-pershable food somewhere secure. “What can it hurt?” I say. “People put money in the bank, but seeing as how you can’t eat money, why would you not at least have a food bank?” They laugh in an uncomfortable manner. To even consider that their reality teeters on a string is simply too much for people to handle.
I’m basically off the grid, use a dehumidifier/purifier unit to get my water directly from the atmosphere, have several years worth of food stashed in several different places, and I still live in a major city.
Like others I know with a brain, I have secretly invested in a 15 hectare farm that grows organic food that my tenants sell in the meantime, but I can travel there and lock it down within 2 hours if need be. It’s got a gravity controlled underwater hydroelectric generation and purification system running under the property, a satellite-ready uplink, as well as solar and wind backup systems, all customized. And countermeasures….can’t give away how I’ve customized the property here
While people would laugh at me and call me a kook, I’ve already returned an average of 12% on the rent to the farmers and the land has gone up by about 8%.
There is a reason why farmland is being gobbled up….but the average person cannot accept that there is a very strong possibility of something bad happening very soon.
I hope that others who suck can realize that there is a very strong chance that things are REALLY going to suck for them sometime in the next 9 months….
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