Where’s my Motivation?
You know what it’s like, you’ve no motivation and yet there’s a massive pile of paperwork, outstanding admin and a huge list of overdue stuff that you haven’t done. The more you don’t do it, the more it looms until you reach a point where there’s just no other option than to get on with it. To be honest, that’s how most people work, me included! I’ve been working as a confidence and lifestyle coach since 2001 and in all that time, one of the major sources of people’s dissatisfaction in their life is due to a pile of things that they know they should be doing and just aren’t.
You’ll read lots of articles about how you have to have lists and other ways to motivate and organise yourself, but the bottom line is… WE ALL KNOW THIS ALREADY! Ask anyone what the solution to their stressed out life is and most will say, be more organised. They might even called it disciplined!
Frankly, having lists is great (although they don’t bring the motivation with them!) – I always make huge inroads into my workload when I remember that simple point. But, and it’s a BIG but… why do we forget? Why do we not do the things that we know will make the difference to our lives?
There’s an incredibly simple answer… it’s because we haven’t yet attached enough pain to the not doing all these things. What do I mean by that? Well, all tasks that we have to do have a perceived pain associated with them (unless you love absolutely everything that you do in which case you should be writing articles to help the rest of us!) – whether it’s the time it takes to do them, or it might be mind numbingly boring, or it might mean that you have to take on some responsibilities that you’d rather not. Until such time as the perceived pain of doing these things is eclipsed by the perceived pain of not doing them (consequences – such as loss of respect, income, job, etc.), it’s so much easier not to bother! Our motivation takes us in whichever direction the pain is least.
Lacking Motivation to Do Something
Imagine you are self-employed and have to submit your tax return. Once the financial year has ended, there’s little incentive for you to do it then. There are a million and one other things to do. There is no pain involved in you not doing your tax return right there and then – However, there is a perceived pain associated with actually doing your return. Therefore it’s much easier and nicer to not do it!
As time passes, and the deadline looms, then financial penalties and other negative incentives come into view which mean that for some people there is enough pain associated with those deadlines and penalties to mean that it actually becomes less painful to get on with it, than it would be to not bother. There are even some people for whom that isn’t enough pain and they get into the penalties. At some point, the pain becomes enough for them to get on and do it!
How does this help us? Well, it’s a really great idea to pile on the pain when you know you are putting something off. Think about the task and what it will mean if you don’t get it done. It really helps to imagine the worst outcomes here – although remember you are not trying to paralyse yourself with fear, you are simply using a trick to bring forth some of the motivation that lurks inside us all. The more you can connect with the pain of not doing the thing you’re avoiding, the easier it is to get on with it and do it.
The truth is, when we get the motivation and actually do these things, they are never half as bad as we imagine them being, and there’s a huge sense of relief and pride to be gained from getting them done.
Deadlines could be met only when you have extramotivation, for example you have extra interest to required work and it pays you with a good profit and attention from your manager or others employers/teammates/cooperators.
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Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Twitter: janesheeba
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Sounds like a great idea. Yes it is when the pain becomes nuff, we are left with no choice
Jane.
Jane | Time Management recently posted..You Must Get Social For Your Blogging Success
I’m a procrastinator by nature. I’ve tried committing to “Eating that Frog”, if you know what I mean. I’ve also tried the pomadora stuff, which has definitely helped me stay on top of things. It’s true that the tasks are never as bad as I thought they would be.
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Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Hi Laney,
I remember reading a study about university students where they had looked at the different approaches to getting their coursework and assignments done. Around 2 in 100 were the type of people who would complete the work 2 weeks early, having set up a plan the second they received the work. The other 98% were the type of people who would get their work done in the final week or even days of the deadline. So I guess most of us are procrastinators by nature!
Eat that frog is a great book – one I recommend to people frequently! I presume you mean the Pomodoro technique (hadn’t seen this before – just googled it!) – more info at http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Great Criticism is Hard to Find
Procrastinating is a negative trait here in my place. We were brought up to do things today if we are capable of doing it. It will save us our time. Time is gold. If we finish our work as early as possible, then we will have a lot of free time. Then, we can have some fun if we love to. Procrastinating usually makes people to cram when things are not done early. When it comes to deadlines, and every thing needs to be done in that very same day then your dead. So do things now then enjoy later.
Ben recently posted..I Think I Just Bought a Pirated Antivirus CD
Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Hi Ben,
You’ve just summed up the idea of delayed gratification – putting off the nice things until you finished with the other must do stuff! Thanks.
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Finding it Hard to Build Your Self-Esteem
Kind of case of bad habits are hard to break. And, maybe you get after yourself a bit. You tell yourself you can do this it’s not so bad. And, maybe it turns out it really wasn’t so bad. But, next thing you know you are right back to your old habits of putting things off again. I know I’ve done that a number of times. I start out good for a while, but it doesn’t last. It’s hard to stick with a plan sometimes, especially when there are a lot of other things I would like to be doing, like fun things.
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Twitter: crkngconfidence
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It can feel like a constant game! If you know the rules (you set them) then it becomes easier after a while. Your only job is to notice when you lack the motivation and once you do, you’ll do something about it.
There’s more time for fun things when you’re organised with the not so fun things…
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Finding it Hard to Build Your Self-Esteem
Dan,
Great article! Overcoming the tendency to procrastinate is definitely a game. What I find works for me is setting up appointments for myself outside of my home office….whether it is with a friend or a client (or my spouse), I hate to go to a meeting not having anything productive to talk about! Sometimes when I find I’m really having problems motivating, I try to trick myself into doing it by saying — “well let’s just do it for five minutes”….inevitably, once I start, I find myself wanting to finish.
Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Hi Dana,
Thanks for the comment – I like the trick of kidding yourself you’ll only do it for 5 minutes! Nice touch.
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Can You Really Learn to be Confident
Nice article – Its true, we never ask ourself – what would be the worst thing to happened to us, if work is not going to be done… Most important thing that we all forget about is – that we should have as much possible fun in Life. And that we only make one chnace to make it right. Therefore, please thing… and tell yourself, when was the last time you really smile from the hart – and why isnt that more often? Smile more
eventough, things are not organized at best or.. evethoung your are not first in everthing… life isnt competition.
Cheers
Alex
Alex recently posted..How to become a good finisher
Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Thanks Alex – I’m all for fun in life! It’s easier to trip through life smiling than to plod through life with a big backpack full of problems.
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Finding it Hard to Build Your Self-Esteem
I read that some people are actually motivated by the end goal (towards motivated). But I think most of us are motivated by pain (away from motivated) – myself included. Is there some way we can train our brains to be more towards motivated? Loving the goal at the end rather than hating the pain of not doing it – It sounds a nicer approach. Am I being too idealistic?
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Hi,
Yes, you are right, there are people who are motivated towards a goal and people who are motivated away from pain. There’s no right or wrong about it! You can certainly train yourself to shift, but it’s tricky and probably the best place to start is in the place you are in!
I guess this post is aimed more at people who can’t get started – one of the easiest motivating techniques is to apply a little pressure to the pain – it’s exactly how sales people motivate us to buy things! Knowing this, we can help ourselves when we really don’t want to do something.
I can remember sitting in a maths exam in school – I was pretty good at maths to be honest – and I looked at the exam paper and started to panic (hot and sweaty, heart racing, mind numb) because I couldn’t do any of the first few questions.
I remember the thing that brought me out of that panic was the thought of how stupid I was going to look if I did really badly in the test. The pain of that was far worse than the pain of the panic I was experiencing and it motivated me to calm down and get on with the exam. I did well too, even after losing about 15 minutes of time to the panic.
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Great Criticism is Hard to Find
I agree. The best way to get motivated is to just start working. Once pen hits paper (metaphorically speaking) everything else usually falls into place.
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Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Quite! Although we really have to find ways to begin! The main problem for most people is getting to the point of beginning – they often have to trick themselves to get started – otherwise they wait for the impending doom of the deadline!!
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Finding it Hard to Build Your Self-Esteem
Twitter: simply1software
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Very well written article! Maybe something we want to remember in our daily life! I was lucking motivation. The key sometimes to this is to just unstuck our brain from thinking and just DO IT! If we can’t change our physiology we’ll never get engaged for what we really want to do and accomplish!
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Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Quite true John!
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Great Criticism is Hard to Find
Sometimes what we really need is to pause for a while so that we can think and organise
our work and ourselves.. great post!
Twitter: crkngconfidence
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And sometimes what we need to do is jolly well get on with it! Thanks for your comment Caroline.
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Can You Really Learn to be Confident
Great article. Everyone is their life lack motivation at one point or the other. I personally find, writing down a task list to do everyday at work or home gives a lot of clarity in life and more organization that one can ever imagine. I never use to do this myself, but I bought a fancy organizer file, inserted and labeled some colored tabs, and a cool pen to write with. So I motivated myself to get motivated!
Twitter: crkngconfidence
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I’m pretty sure that you don’t think the fancy pen and organizer is the solution to motivation!!!
I’d suggest that much of what we do to motivate ourselves is short term – to help us get over the procrastination bug that 99.9% of people possess. If it’s fancy pens and organisers, that’s wonderful – I envy your style!!! For the rest of us, it’s about getting down and dirty, asking what we really want in our lives. For some, that’s enough to get on and do it, but for most, we need to also see where we’re headed if we don’t go after our goals… if it’s more painful than taking the steps to get on with our goals, it’s a no-brainer! Otherwise it’s a good idea to play with it a bit until it is!
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Inspirational People – Joe Smale
Twitter: Mazzastick
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I haven’t felt unmotivated in a really long time. My life is exactly the way that I want it to be. If there are any areas that I am no longer satisfied in then I will have enough motivation by the “pain” as you said to get me moving.
Justin | Mazzastick recently posted..How To Consciously Control Manic Depression
Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Hi Justin, great to have you comment! I trust you mean that your life is exactly the way you want it to be in this moment… I presume you are on some kind of journey towards something more spectacular as well!!!
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Inspirational People – Joe Smale
How clever is this. More importantly, how honest is this. I’ve never heard procrastination spoken about in a way that makes sense to me. I might employ a bit of shock treatment for myself now so that I can get on with it. Any suggestions.
jenny recently posted..Preparing for Thirty-One Wait List – Ladies in Waiting
Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Thanks Jenny, you could start with the thing you least want to do and then just fantasise about how bad it could be if you don’t get on with it and finish it!
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..How Do You Gain Confidence Back
I think procrastinating is a very self destructive way to operate in life. Sometimes its just self sabotage in disguise, I found myself in the past putting things off because of fear and ended up procrastinating as a result…perhaps at the back of my mind I was looking to have a reason not to do what I needed to do to get ahead in my future…In these past two years, I’ve accomplished more just by ignoring the procrastinator in me and just getting things done no matter what !
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Twitter: crkngconfidence
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Thanks for your comment. I agree it’s destructive, but for most people, it’s just easier! Short term obviously!
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Selling Yourself at Interview – Against Your Self-Doubt
“……there’s a huge sense of relief and pride to be gained from getting them done”
- I think the hardest part of any process is how you are going to start it. The fear of failing always hinders us to do something that we ended up losing our motivation. So rather than thinking something negative that will demotivate us, why not focusing on positive things that can motivate us. Anyway, as we get a positive result, we at the same time build our self-confidence.
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Thanks Adrian,
If you’re someone who is naturally motivated by positive things, then you’re unlikely to have procrastination as an issue. If not, then you jolly well need a kick up the backside to get moving! That’s what pain does for you.
The Cracking Confidence Coach recently posted..Selling Yourself at Interview – Against Your Self-Doubt