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- Extreme Penny-Pinching: 5 Signs You’re Being Obsessively Frugal - July 16, 2012
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Whether by nature or circumstance, today there is a diverse and extensive movement of people taking up a frugal lifestyle. Extreme saving has become a much celebrated ideal. But sometimes all the virtues that come with simple living and resource conservation are at odds with a person’s unhealthy attitudes and tendencies. If ignored, these supposedly money-saving moves can open up a Pandora’s box of unwanted consequences that outweigh by far any money or resources the person ended up saving.
So how can you tell if your frugal ways or those of someone you know may be going too far? Look for five of the most telling signs.
Five Signs of a Frugal Obsession
1. You avoid spending on life’s necessities. We all need access to adequate food, water, clothing, and shelter as well as essential health care in order to live. When you start making significant compromises in these areas then it could be a sign that something is off. Some examples of this in action include: buying insufficient or poor quality food even though there is enough money; eating expired foods to put off a food purchase; not having sufficient furniture in the house, such as a bed; putting off essential home repairs; and avoiding the doctor when medical attention is needed.
2. You have spender’s dread.
The whole point of having money is to spend it- whether now or at some point in the future. If you are constantly worried about every cent that leaves your wallet (even for normal, every day expenditures) then it could be a sign that your attitude towards money needs to be accessed.
3. You feel like there’s a “gun to your head.”
While it is possible that you may be living and working in a frugal way due to outside circumstances, such as the loss of a job, if you constantly feel compelled to save, save, save, yet at the same time resent those very actions, then realize it could backfire. You may be setting yourself up for bouts of “reckless splurging” or numerous stress-induced physical and mental health problems.
4. You’re fit to become Scrooge’s understudy.
If you find yourself constantly trying to take advantage of others in order to save a few bucks, then your mean and callous behavior may point to an underlying problem with the way you view money. Some examples of this include: not adequately compensating your employees for their work, and arguing about the quality of a product or service you’ve received in order to get an item for free or at a reduced cost.
5. You have enough… but you’re still worried.
One telltale sign that your frugal attitude is off is if you seem to worry constantly about money even though you have a significant amount of money saved up, you’re putting away money for retirement, and are sporting a manageable debt load. Putting money aside for a rainy day is commendable; stuffing bills into your mattress and refraining from investing in even low-risk products, such as bonds, Certificates of Deposit (CD’s), and even some money market accounts, may not be.
In short, living a frugal lifestyle should make you feel more free- whether it is free from debt or from mindless consumerism. If instead your frugality makes you feel like you landed in jail, then it may be time to take a good step back and consider why you’re being so frugal in the first place.
Wow – amazingly on target. I’ve seen so many people become modestly successful through discipline and self-restraint but fail to move to the next level personally and professionally because they were unwilling to relax and enjoy life a little. The rules change as you move up the pyramid – while the lower levels of success are based on discipline / conformity, the higher levels of personal and economic success are highly social and require you to maintain a certain “presence”.
Three things that have helped my family overcome this:
- Agreement as a couple that certain small luxuries are ok – eg. don’t hassle me about wanting to get some frozen yogurt, I’m not wasting $5000 for a plasma TV I won’t actually use
- Agreement to spend on the stuff we like – vacations, computers, cycling
- A committment to exercise / taking care of ourselves and agreeing to make time / spend money to make this happen as a shared couple’s goal…
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I’ve seen with people that getting stuck in such a financial rut usually comes from either one of three potential places:
1. Fear of letting go- feeling like there is just not enough money because who knows what could happen
2. Peer pressure- “What will people think if I suddenly start ‘splurging’?”
3. Ignorance- People don’t really know how much they should be saving
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Saving money for a rainy day is great, but I think many people forget to live in the moment as well. You never know what could happen tomorrow – it’s terrible to say, but none of us know when we are going to go. So neglecting present enjoyment completely in order to save for a rainy day that might never come is not always the best strategy! it’s a fine line…
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Totally… and constantly seeing (and hearing about) what *has* happened to people in the last few years doesn’t help matters either.
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I totally agree with you. The whole point of money is to assistant a person in meeting his necessary expenditures. Whatever is left should be saved. But problem arises when an individual start saving money even before they spend it to meet their essential needs.
I believe that in beginning of job, an individual should save more and maintain a credit for the rainy day. But once he reaches a safe mark, then he can cut-down on his austerity measures.
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Good points… But I think every one has a different situation that needs to be considered on its own. When a person first starts a new job, how much he or she should save really depends on a few factors:
-If there is any debt, for example college loans, credit card debt
-How old the person is
-What that person’s *comfortable* standard of living is
-What the money is being put aside for, for example emergency fund, short-term savings towards the purchase of a big-ticket item, retirement
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“You have enough… but you’re still worried.”
The problem is, how exactly do you define ‘enough’?
The key to success when it comes to spending and saving is to find the right balance between spending frugally and over-spending/spending excessively. A failsafe way of doing that is to divide your total income into categories like necessities, bills, food, leisure, savings, reserve, etc and making sure you stay within the limits for each category in a given month.
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“Balance”…that’s definitely an important and appropriate word. BUT, reaching that balance will be different for different people and will even vary within the various periods of a person’s life. It really depends on the person’s financial goals, living habits, personality.
The tip you offered above is a good one. But additionally, one has to do an internal check to make sure that when it comes to money there is an *overall* feeling of peace and calm- or at least the feeling that whatever can be done at the moment financially is being done. If that is lacking, then something could be off.
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Saving/spending money is a funny concept. Saving your money is an excellent idea, but not if you are sacrificing every day necessities. Spend all your money and don’t save, then you are asking for Murphy’s law to kick your butt. For example, your car just broke down and you need to spend $1000 to get it fixed. It is also time to pay your monthly rent, which is also $1000. The person who has money saved will be able to take the hit financially. The person who does not save will be hit hard and have some tough decisions to make. Understanding how to manage your money is key.
While it’s always good to have a safety net to fall back on, a lot of people tend to be frugal with the intentions of putting the money saved to use in another way other than saving. It does make sense if your saving for a safety net, but it doesn’t make sense if your saving to incur another bill like many do with major purchases like cars,motorcycles,etc.
Looks like i’m another Victim of Frugal Obsessiveness. I’m always looking to invest everything on my start ups instead of basic necessities and saving for the rainy day, Please provide me tips
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My grandfather was very frugal. He didn’t believe in buying stuff unless it was absolutely necessary. He didn’t give out gifts, and he didn’t spend the money on himself. Then he died and my parents got all of his money. The lesson I learned from him was that you have to spend some money on enjoying life…being wound up and uptight about money is pointless! He wasn’t scrooge, but he didn’t enjoy the money he spent his whole life working for.
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Good point… But it could be that your grandfather lived through the Depression or experienced war or poverty growing up and these events strongly influenced his attitude towards money.
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Managing money is a fine line. I would think that there are more people who spend more than they should than those who are excessively frugal. Even so, both extremes can be worrisome. Saving so that you have an emergency fund is vital, but there are some people who forego many things in their life because they never feel they have enough money saved.
Congratulation for posting this important article. when a person first start a new job then his/her save depend on some factors or tools. I am also find here different something shows. Finally thank you for posting this important article.
Hi adam,
It’s so true. People tend to find security in accumulating stuff, thinking that it makes them happy but in reality its not; accumulation of material things wont give us real satisfaction and happiness. The desire is never ending. It’s proven that we’re not material body otherwise we will be satisfies of what we have.
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Avoiding life’s necessities doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re obsessively frugal. For instance, putting off an oven repair can only mean that you’ll probably get a better deal from someone else on fixing it.
Especially today, I think many people suffer from point number 5. Ever since our economy has proven to not be infallible, there is this (maybe) irrational paranoia of “what if I lose it all” that never lets people take a breath. There seems to be this constant fear that it all might go away in at a moments notice. Despite being in a position of financial security, there is always that little nagging thought that SOMETHING down the road will be too stressful a financial burden to handle. I am definitely guilty of this.
“In short, living a frugal lifestyle should make you feel more free- whether it is free from debt or from mindless consumerism. If instead your frugality makes you feel like you landed in jail, then it may be time to take a good step back and consider why you’re being so frugal in the first place.”
You couldn’t have summed it up better. The point of saving is financial freedom, keyword freedom. You’re supposed to control and manage your money, not the other way around. If you have to spend, just spend wisely and do some research. There are lots of money management tips and guidelines the web has to offer.
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As the saying goes, “too much of a good thing is bad.” It is always good to be frugal when it comes to money, but it should never come to a point when you don’t even enjoy the benefits money brings. You work how many hours a day, every day, year after year to earn this. There should be a balance.
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It’s a fine line between living too frugally and living wisely. Without knowing what tomorrow holds, its best to find a good balance. Enjoy the things you do have, the people around you. Learn to live beneath your means, but find enjoyment and satisfaction at whatever level you are at in life. In the end, life is more about relationships than wealth and how many people you are able to sincerely touch. If you do have an excessive amount of money, I say live frugally and give as much away as you can. It worked for Scrooge!
Reducing excessive frugalness is really important if you are in a relationship. I’ve personally seen financial stress, whether it’s spending too much or too little, really effect a relationship. Each person needs to find a personal balance and one that is satisfactory with their partner.
I think people that had maybe more money before and are now saving up due to loss of income or for whatever reason, find it hard as maybe some of their friends are not in the same position, or just the mere fact of accepting that you cant live the same way makes it hard….it’s a lot of things but at the end of the day, it can happen to anyone and you just have live in today, you cant think of what was yesterday, because yesterday is gone. It is very hard though for sure.
lol..My father has an annoying habit of hoarding money. He wont spare me even a few bucks unless it is for buying books. I hate it
Successful has strong relationship with discipline and strategy include how to manage the time and money. No wonder most people said time is money.
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saving money for a rainy day is great, but I think many people forget to live in the moment as well. You never know what could happen tomorrow it’s terrible to say, but none of us know when we are going to go. So neglecting present enjoyment completely in order to save for a rainy day that might never come is not always the best strategy! it’s a fine line
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Frugality is hard to take too far. When you start examining real “necessities” they don’t include a lot of what we take for granted. People is retirement quietly do without because they didn’t save enough. Living frugally can be very satisfying, but your spouse has to agree or you both will be in constant conflict. Some people believe money is for pleasure, and you should spend all you get.
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I find that being frugal is a good thing. But it can be taken overboard. Sometimes, you have to splurge.
Hi Adam,
I find myself to be quite cautious with spending money. Because one could never know what they might earn the next year.
However it should be balanced, for example a millionaire shouldn’t have a lifestyle as if he expects to go bankrupt tomorrow.
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This has probably got to be one of my biggest problems. Its easy to try to pinch pennies cause that’s just how I was raised but to let loose and spend money on myself can be tough. I wonder what percent of people fall into the obsessive frugal side of things and what percentage just can’t budget at all.
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Being frugle is not about being a scrooge, it’s just about been sensible.
I’ll gladly spend a hour looking at other websites or comparison sites to save money.
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after reading this i can say myself obsessively frugal…..i need to reshape my thoughts and actions
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i will go for point no. 5 i do not know why i always think like that….ok no problem i am frugal
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Living frugally, doesn’t neceesarrily mean living uncomfortably or denying yourself thing that you need. It does mean understanding where your money goes (make a list, check it twice). It also means not wasting money on frivilous things that you want becuase everybody else has them. Like I might want a wide screen TV like everyone else, but I hardly ever watch TV, so why should I waste several thousand dollars on something I would hardly ever use? You can still live frugal and save money on your expenses, but at the same time you also have to be sensible. Like I wouldn’t recomment dumpster diving to find store coupons, as some people have recommended.
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