GRAFFITI YES by Andy Welsh: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wallrevolution/8526443/
“As I say yes to life, life says yes to me!” -Louise Hay
Remember the book, or the movie? I consider the movie to be one of my favorites. It’s both hilarious and inspiring. And it teaches an important life lesson – it teaches how to say yes.
I’m sure you agree that not everyone is comfortable with saying yes on a daily basis. No is the safer answer. It forces no change. It keeps things the way they are now. And also… it keeps people from succeeding.
Here’s where the Yes Man approach comes into play. You see, the rule of saying yes is a great way of creating a better life for everyone who’s used to using no as their main answer.
Yes Men (and No Men) by nature
Here’s what I mean. The concept of saying yes is great. But many people have been living like this anyway without even knowing it – Yes Men by nature – you can call them. Everybody knows someone like this. No matter what you ask for they will always say yes. They will always help you, they will always go to a party with you, they will always lend you some money, and they will always do the thing you ask them to do.
And there’s the other tribe – the No Men by nature. People who usually say no. No matter what. They don’t want to have a good time, they don’t want to quit their poor job with no prospects for future, they don’t want to do anything that involves any extra effort on top of what they already have to do (as defined by their job description, for example).
So … which tribe are you a member of?
The change
The thing with No Men is that they usually know that saying no leads them nowhere, but they can’t force themselves to switching to the yes side. So the Yes Man concept is something that resonates quite well with those kinds of people. It gives them a reason for saying yes, and ultimately to create new opportunities in their lives. That reason is simple – “say yes just for the sake of it”.
But being a Yes Man no matter what is not the smart way, I’m afraid…
In reality the philosophy of being a Yes Man simply teaches you to trust your instinct and don’t look for fake reasons to say no all the time. It’s not about saying yes to every stupid request. It’s about making fast decisions.
But don’t take it from me. Seth Godin agrees with this and says that you should make decisions as fast as possible. If you are not going to receive any further data (data that could help you with the decision) then there’s no point in postponing it.
Being a Yes Man can help you a lot with this because whenever you can’t make up your mind, you can just call your inner Yes Man and be done with the decision in no time. Trusting your initial feelings is something that being a Yes Man is all about. It is the smart way.
We both know that if something is so outrageous that you can’t possibly agree to do it then you will say no anyway. The sole reason of believing in the Yes Man philosophy won’t be strong enough to override your intelligence and initial gut feeling.
But on the other hand, if something is just different, or new, or a little scary, and you’re not quite sure whether you want to do it or not, then this is the moment you should ask your inner Yes Man to decide for you and just say yes.
How to do it at work
Such a mindset helps in the workplace too. What you do is simple. Whenever someone asks you for something that you want to do anyway, you will say yes (obviously). Whenever someone asks you for something you don’t want to do no matter what, you will say no. Whenever someone asks you for something that catches you off guard but is both challenging and interesting, you will say yes because that’s what Yes Men do.
However, don’t get too far because the consequences of being either on the “yes pole” or the “no pole” can be serious.
If you’re saying yes all the time then it can lead you to be the “go to boy”. Someone who’s always doing everyone else’s dirty work. Other people in the workplace can sniff such a person very quickly, and try to use them for their own comfort. People can be mean, unfortunately.
If you’re saying no all the time then you’re simply shooting yourself in the foot. Saying no gets you nowhere both in work and in life.
Being somewhere in the middle (like I’m describing here), on the other hand, can help you with your career. That’s because you turn out to be the person who’s eagerly doing all the interesting stuff, refusing to do the unnecessary things, and highly willing to participate in anything new and interesting… For many employers this might be the description of a perfect employee.
Being a Yes Man the smart way in a nutshell
Be a Yes Man by saying yes to anything new and interesting. Saying yes will not only help you make a living, it will also help you make a life.
If you don’t believe me, here’s Danny Wallace: “The fact is saying yes hadn’t been a pointless exercise at all. It had been pointful. It had the power to change lives and set people free… It had the power of adventure. Sometimes the little opportunities that fly at us each day can have the biggest impact.”
What do you think about this approach? How being a Yes Man is working for you? Feel free to speak up.
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Twitter: Burnworld
says:
You can for sure get more out of live by saying yes to everything, but it’s important to have a path to follow. What to you want to do, want to be, etc… They saying yes to those things that keep you on this path will make the most impact.
Saying “yes” just means that you are open to challenges, improvements, and risks in life. In this day and age, with everything involving competition, that is an attitude one must carry in order to survive. However, there is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your protective zone. It’s just that there is no place for advancement, and life can become pretty stagnant. I agree with you in establishing a middle ground. Thank you for sharing this inspirational article!
“there is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your protective zone. It’s just that there is no place for advancement, and life can become pretty stagnant” – well said. Thanks.
Karol K recently posted..Where to Get Backlinks to Your Site – Part 2 – 12 Web 2.0 Sites
Twitter: TechieSaves
says:
I guess the real problem is saying Yes when you need to, not being a Yes Man. The concept of Yes Man really bugs me, I see it as a man with no personality.
Marty recently posted..Best Android Browsers for Your Smartphone
Interesting, can you explain this point of view a little more?
Karol K recently posted..Where to Get Backlinks to Your Site – Part 3 – 6 Free Blog Sites
Twitter: esther98
says:
I agree up to a point. Sometimes saying yes can lead to a very stressful life. I say yes to a lot of things I wish I hadn’t. I feel like I don’t want to let people down, but then I take on far too much stuff I shouldn’t. The trick is to have the right balance.
annelg recently posted..What Is Love
You’re right, unfortunately this cannot be taught, we all have to find the balance on our own.
Karol K recently posted..Where to Get Backlinks to Your Site – Part 2 – 12 Web 2.0 Sites
Twitter: wpwebhost
says:
I think being a yes man is like something known as being a leader. You just gotta have the X-Factor to be the real deal.
Twitter: Stevescott1
says:
I agree up to a point. I want to say “yes” to everything. That is my instinct. But If i did i would have absolutely no time to myself or even make enough money to survive.
Being open is important. But it is also important to be able to say “no”, because there are many time vampires out there that you have to stake if you want to be successful, and this requires some “no”
Steve recently posted..71 Web Copywriting “Hidden Gems” (or How to Create the ULTIMATE Copywriting Swipe File)
I completely agree with Steve in that saying yes to everything won’t leave you any time. The funny thing is I am one of those people how just can’t learn to say no.
I think the best way to approach this is to balance it out. Be open minded and ready to say yes to things that interest you and are especial, while having the courage to say no to things that just lead to nowhere.
satrap recently posted..10 Best Ways to Make Extra Money Online in Your Spare Time
Essentially, I agree, but identifying those things leading to nowhere can sometimes be more challenging than we expect. In most cases only time can tell whether a decision was good or not, that’s why the “yes” approach turns out to be working really well for some people.
Karol K recently posted..Where to Get the Images for Your Blog
imho listening to his inner instinct is the true lesson
the wise man adapts to the situation
yes men should say no more often
and no men should say yes more often
Jean-Luc recently posted..Comment Etre Heureux
Saying “YES” will make you a friend a helper but also could turn you into a target and potential customer or scam victim. You need to know when is the time to say YES but also give the impression that NO was a choice
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Twitter: schoolafrica
says:
Knowing what you want and being willing to stand for it, is the key point to being a YES man. More about having a philosophy towards life that will often calls up a spontaneous negative or positive response to circumstances.
But Sometimes you just can’t help being human and say the wrong yes. I think we have to routinely balance it out.
Ikenna Odinaka recently posted..How to make $1500 from Google Adsense in Your first month
You know I’ve never thought of it this way before. Say no when you are sure you don’t want to do something and say yes when you are sure BUT say yes when you are in between. I can already see a lot of opportunities opening up, although it will probably feel very uncomfortable at first because we will be forcing ourselves out of our comfort zone.
Larry Brown recently posted..Salary Information You Should Know
To be frank, it does feel very uncomfortable … I did an experiment when I was saying only yes for an entire week, and it felt strange.
Karol K recently posted..Before You Buy Market Samurai – an Honest Review
Twitter: PRLuv
says:
Having a positive, determined mindset can change your life. And when you’re setting ‘stepping stone’ goals and moving forward, accomplishing them, the momentum and morale boost can be amazing.
FYI – I haven’t seen the movie OR read the book that this post references. This actually reminded me of an athlete in one of my favorite sports, the UFC, in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD0FnKcMSU0
He also does a ‘yes cartwheel.’ Haha.
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Twitter: beanie72
says:
Hey Karol
Great thought provoking post! For me there are times that you need to be a Yes man otherwise you will get stuck in a rut. it all comes back to how you assess what you say yes to. If it is going to move me towards my goals, then it is going to be a Yes. Of course that isn’t the only time to say yes, It all comes back to making a quick decision about the benefits for all involved when you do say yes. I think that is where most people fall down, they make decision’s based on guilt and fear, not based on the end result.
Cheers Beanie
Beanie recently posted..Why The Internet Marketing Guru’s have no idea how to use Facebook
I agree. And one more reason is that saying NO is not provoking any change, saying YES often leads to leaving one’s comfort zone, that’s why it’s so scary.
Karol K recently posted..Online Business Models Explained: Services and Consulting
Well-said. Saying “yes” to reasonable tasks at work give you the opportunity to excel in your career and also open doors to promotions. In other words, you can take it as a chance to prove yourself to your employers. Thank you for sharing.