Latest posts by ladyohlala (see all)
- The mysteries of a lady’s handbag - February 18, 2011
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The handbag chat
Boy: What on hearth did you put in your handbag?! Do you really need all this?
Lady: Yes I do.
Boy: But why??
Lady: *blink* blink* Well because I do (I guess, I mean, I know)
Boy: What’s in there anyway?
Lady: Usual stuff, you know, keys, wallet, and you know, stuff.
Boy: *Smile* sigh* women!
Lady: (crap, why do I keep bringing around all this stuff, I can’t even remember what’s in there anymore)
Boy: (Gosh, why does she keep carrying around all this stuff, I wish I could get a sneak peek of her holy handbag content)
The handbag mysteries
Oh boy, don’t you know a lady’s handbag is her secret garden? Its content reveals way too much about her. Are you sure you want to know that much? Because the thing is that a sneak peek means: you’re going to learn things about the lady, that even she, doesn’t know about herself…
Still want to know? Brave (reckless) move. But ok, here we go then.
But first, ladies, why is it we keep all this crap with us as if it was a matter of life or death?? I mean, there is a whole bunch of useless aka «vital» items in my bag, and I don’t use half *cough* most of them. Like ever. But when it comes to shortening the holy content of my bag, I’m useless. I can come out with a hundred excuses and circumstances justifying the item to stay right there, safe, in my bag.
The handbag content
As a crowded handbag specialist, I can tell that we usually carry around the following:
Wallet. The remains of our normality.
Phone. How is it? Oh yeah « stay connected ».
IPod/Mp3. Why do you take yours? Same here.
Keys. Home keys, mailbox keys, office keys, garage keys, diary keys, key to our heart (easy one, granted), odds and ends. Who knows when we’re going to have to OPEN, just open.
Diary. Because even if we’re not always on time,
Pads and tampax. Now, I told you didn’t want to know it all. But would you listen? Starts by N ends by O.
Lip balm. Dry lips. Yikes. Enough said.
Lip stick. Nurturing our inner Marylin. And all that for you guys. The memo? What memo? Oh! the one about you guys hating lipstick? Yes we got it, but you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about.
Gloss. Make up? Again? Relax, it’s usually either lipstick or gloss. *Cough*
Face powder and blush. Again, your fault. Do you even realize how high your beauty standards are??
Perfume. Just to make sure you recognize us instantly.
Notebook. We think a lot. Like constantly. And not only about sex. Also, you’re not always the best listeners around. Imagine if we couldn’t spit out (sorry, write down) all the musings that go in our head? We’d either burst out or MAKE you listen…
Tissues. Because the kids might spill their milkshakes on us, or we might get a bit emotional, and we have to be ready for it. You spend the rest of the day with a nasty smudge and we go clean ourselves.
Scented wipes. Refer to tissues please.
Tights. You know how fascinated you are when we put them on in front of you, and how you keep thinking “these look really thin”? Well they are, and thin = fragile = high disaster potential.
A nail file. Our hands are one of our biggest assets. Enough said.
Cigies and lighter. Only for those who are slave to this nasty habit. And there, I can sense your envy fellow smokers, because last time I checked, your back pocket didn’t do the job very well.
Gums. In order to mask the above mentioned or for the obvious.
A hairbrush. Humidity is a b***
A tooth brush. All about hygiene.
A pocket mirror. Mirror mirror, you’d better tell me I look freaking great today
Hand cream. Again, smooth you want, smooth we give you.
Did I forget anything Ladies?? Anything unusual in your handbag?
Now let’s face it… Do we need all this? Definitely not. Will we get rid of most it and set ourselves free? Of course. Tomorrow.
